Croatia - A Snowy Start

It was an early flight on a cold morning, full of not so pretty air hostesses. The wifu decided to have a quick nap, and though I'm not the person who usually chats to strangers, I gave it a shot. I'm not sure whether that person sitting next to me was constipated or hungover or had a colonoscopy done recently or all three. I thought I was the socially awkward penguin but this guy made me feel like unsalted butter.

Landed in Zagreb a bit late and picked up some new words looking at the signs. It was time to rent a car and I've seen even samosa sellers more passionate about their products than this rental guy. I enquired about some taxes on the bills and his reply was *with a smile* "Please sign here, I dunno anything" . I ask him about the speed limits and he says *with a smile* "Boards everywhere, don't worry" which later turned out to be not true. I think he was the company's only employee. He went to wash the car and get it from the parking lot and left the counter unattended. It was then I realized that he hadn't even turned the lights on inside his booth.

Finally got the car, a decent Aveo. But the problem started as soon as we sat in the car. The left hand steering, driving on the right side of the road in an unknown country and testing a new GPS for the first time. Luckily we both had that teenager kinda josh to just get going and take things as they came along. There were numerous times when I tried to change the gear with my left hand and kept banging my hand against the door. But guess what, the experience of invariably overtaking from left on Bangalore-Mysore highway finally got me into my comfort zone and made me feel at home.

The speed limits were clearly marked on the freeways (autocesta) and was in most places 130. But the problem was that our car was probably having her time of the month. At times it would be above par to the speed limit but in most cases would struggle to keep up to it. I even tried standing on the accelerator and it would still be a bit stubborn. 

We kept passing through numerous towns and the houses resembled Indian rural houses. Amidst heavy snow, most of the restaurants were either shut, or had their access blocked by snow or looked terrible. It was only after a couple of hours that we found a decent place to eat. By this time, we had got off the freeway and the speed limits ranged from 40 to 90 within half a km. In spite of maintaining the limit, I got numerous stares from overtaking vehicles (another incident that reminded of India).

We planned to visit Barac caves which were famous for its stalacities and stalagmites but unfortunately the caves were shut due to snow. We drove along from here and the road started to get a rough with a bit of potholes, then full of gravel, then just slush and finally we reached a point where no vehicle had gone past it. There was around 2 feet of snow everywhere and was no way one could differentiate a road from a deep pit. What made it worse was there were hardly any houses around and the only soul apart from us was a dog.

It was so quiet there that one could probably hear the sound of even a snow flake hitting the ground. After admiring our interesting situation, we decided to turn around and trace our road back to the highway.  



It had started to get dark and we finally checked into the house and our host Osana was very friendly and warm. She even got us some home made sweet pastry which was a local delicacy. It was tasty but I just couldn't get her to tell me its name. After all, she only spoke a few English words. 

This was just day 1. One of the best days was day 2. Lots more to follow ....

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The Story Of 3 Knots - Part 3

I had barely caught 40 winks when I heard some knocking at the door. To my surprise, it was the bride who woke me up. We walked around the venue to find that flower arrangements were extremely beautiful. I bid adieu to her and went back into the room but hardly anyone had woken up.

I was apparently not supposed to have my breakfast and I wasn't in any mood to argue with anyone about it. So my roomies went out to get some biscuits for me and also left me something so that I could "release it in peace" one last time as a bachelor.

I took more time than usual to get ready this time. Squeezing myself into the traditional attire was a different experience. Abstaining from desserts for a couple of months had helped in a way. A colleague of mine later described it as the "Prince of Persia attire". Yes, I guess I would prefer that name. After I got ready there were quite a few people in my room. The purohit came and started talking some nonsense.

They walked me to a small temple in the Choultry and RLG uncle was supposed to hold an umbrella for me as we walked. But in spite of numerous people telling him he wasn't doing it right, he made sure that he was completely protected from the sun while I wasn't. He still gets trolled about it even today. After some other people made me very uncomfortable there with some rituals, we went inside onto the dais. 

The purohit's assistants held a white cloth up to obstruct my vision and gave me a mixture of Cumin and rice. I asked him what the whole thing was all about and he said that upon releasing the cloth whoever manages to put these on the other person's head first gets to take control in the marriage. I asked him "What if we both do it at the same time?" He said " I've never seen that happening in my life"  to which I replied " It's going to happen today and you'll tell your grand kids about it ". After giving so much of a build up to the scene, I don't think I need to tell what happened next.

After uttering some gibberish to which the purohit himself didn't know the meaning, it was time for the 3 knots. Strangely enough, the photographer was the only person who knew the meaning behind the knots. One dedicates a knot each to Brahma, Vishnu and Maheshwara. Though being an atheist, I was finally happy to know the meaning . As I went in to tie the knots, I told all the ladies around me to stand back and not do the usual  ನನ್ದೆಲಿಡ್ಲಿ  while tying the ತಾಳಿ . While I was tying the knots, I could hear the words "Oh Sh*t, oh Sh*t....." and I knew exactly who was saying it. As I looked around after this, I could see waterfalls in pretty much every direction. I was extremely surprised to see so many people shedding tears but couldn't control smiling at the myriad of emotions around me .Yes, lame jokes again came to my rescue and my FIL was the only person supporting me.

I was supposed to show my wifu a star in broad daylight outside (note that sun doesn't count) and I just showed her the large bee hive over our heads. What followed next was the boring ceremony of holding a coconut underneath a milk bucket till the cows came home. Must say, some oldies were very excited to splash the milk all over our hands and clothes. Luckily Mr and Mrs Spoke helped us to wrap it up. After an extremely tasty lunch, it was the moment that movies, serials and ads love. The actual departing scene which didn't really see any tears but just seconds later all those emotions bursted out on either side.

What followed this was a long, hardly any words spoken in the car, journey back to Bangalore. This is one of the very few regrets I have of the whole event. I could have surely done better to cheer my wifu's mood during the journey but I just didn't. Sigh.

After getting back home, we both headed to Leela Palace for the ahem ahem consummation. It was funny to see relatives wishing us "All the best" before leaving. I still think of that incident and laugh. OK I'm not even that drunk to go into details about what happened thereafter. 

Its been wonderful 3 parts even for me. Must say, the brain stores some intricate details even without your knowledge. I realized that while writing these 3 parts and reminiscing the moments. Hopefully, I'll come back to read this again in 40 years' time when my wifu changes the wifi password to our wedding date. 

P.S - Its 10th February 

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The Story Of 3 Knots - Part 2

Yes, small broke a coconut right at my feet and I jumped to avoid its pieces. The camera man took advantage of this situation and with some basic loop effects, made me look as if I jumped thrice. Whatay!!  

There were lot of new faces but the face I really wanted to see was busy getting ready. I've never understood the concept of 10+ men in the same room as the groom to get him ready. I badly wanted some space alone after an incident late previous night. Have to say, I did spend a considerable amount of time in getting my trident pocket square right. My grandpa was actually super excited to see me in that attire and I still remember him sitting on the bed with a walking stick and talking to me in Dr.House style.

I went to meet the bride and did she look pretty or what!! She looked so much more beautiful than I ever imagined her to look in that dress. We smiled a lot at each other, looked into each others' eyes and just like that exchanged lots of words even before speaking the first word.

I wasn't really a fan of these wedding photographers until I met this Choudhary and totally became his fan within his first few snaps. But then again, one of my favourite pics from that day has to be this.

                                    

As we both walked onto the stage, I could already see a sea of people queuing up and that I when we both realized that its going to be a long night. There were some genuine smiles and wishes, there were some fake smiles, there were also some "I don't know who you are, I'm here just for some free food" faces. The worst of them all were a couple of them who actually said "I wanted to get you married to my friend's daughter of the same caste, but now its ok. Congrats!!" Aaah , the one day I felt like really slapping someone after along time. However, my MIL had already kept a couple of Red Bulls behind me and they helped me to avert the ugly situations.

There were quite a few incidents that tried to alter both our moods, but then again my terrible jokes came in handy yet again to make sure that both of us kept a smile on till midnight. Choudhary even made me get down on my knee and propose "just for the photos" . It was that or Photoshop and I went for the manlier option.

It was finally time to sit down and have dinner. The food was amazingly tasty but both of us couldn't eat much just because the gastric juices had already slept off. I found the concept of asking the bride to stay back in the Choultry even though her house is just 2 minutes from the place a bit silly. I orchestrated a perfect escape and as a reader, you're probably one of the very few people to know about it even today. 

Some pesky relatives also wanted to do some idiotic ritual at 1:00 in the morning and I metaphorically showed them the finger and went to sleep. Batha and Bujji were there to accompany me and I realized that it was 4:00 in the morning and I still hadn't slept. Not because of any wedding jitters but because of those damn Red Bulls. It surely had given my eyes some wings. The unsynchronized snoring of two people also didn't help the cause. Couple more hours to wake up for the D-Day and I was still awake. 

To be continued...

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