A for Anna, B for Baba, C for Corruption

Over the last couple of months or so, it seems like everyone has developed a taste for the fight against corruption or thats what its been portrayed as. Suddenly, put-on accent, tattoos, piercings, smoking Rajini style, guzzling ten beers and still saying "I'm stable" and even going vegan aren't the cool things to do. While the fight for environment still seems to be the ever green trend, Google trends and social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook are quick to mirror that fact that everyone seems to be trying to act cool, by saying no to corruption.

Anna Hazare started it right after India won the WorldCup and planned it right in the gap before the start of IPL 4. Well I'm not going to talk about the credibility of his motives or actions as he looked like a nice guy who didn't look for any funding and had a clear set agenda. Fair enough. While his efforts were commendable, there were lots of others who were looking to use that incident as a springboard. One of them was Baba Ramdev. 

With the IPL 4 also ending, and with a confirmed fact that nobody is going to watch the Ind WI series, there was no doubt that it was the perfect time for Ramdev's to do a Poonam Pandey i.e grab attention.  Before I actually dwell into his recent attention seeking acts, let me just shed some light on what everyone knew about him till then. He was a dude who taught Yoga and as a result of which influenced a lot of people. As a result of this I was forced by my parents to to Kapalbhati and his other asanas which MS Word doesn't recognize. While it didn't last long enough, I still give him some brownie points for promoting the brand Yoga in India.

I had seen one of his shows where some people pick up the mikes and start talking about how Ramdev's Yoga changed their lives and all that crap. OK, that was his way of promoting the classes and shows and is still fair enough. For a guy who didn't want to get laid, this was probably his way of finding a release point. Next he went on the record, saying his yoga will cure cancer and AIDS and said that sex education should be replaced by yoga. As long as he taught Kama Sutra, I really didn't have any problem with that!!! Recently, he even said that homosexuals are sick people and should be sent to the hospitals for treatment. Somewhere in this statement I felt that he was trying to come out of the closet indirectly. For a guy who has hair which would cause envy to any woman, wore a sleeveless saree all the time and who openly said that he didn't want to sleep with a woman, that statement sure looked like an expression of jubilation while still hiding behind the hypocrite mask. I even got to know that he owns an island in Scotland. I so want to visit that place to see if there is any leather shop selling ahem..,ahem.., toys in his name!!!

He started off his fast by saying its going to last for about 14 hours. My granny still goes on day long fasts on some days to impress the god and the media hyped Ramdev so much for a 14 hour fast. Guess you can go on for more than that without any media attention if you have a bad hangover. The news channels like always were providing Ramdev's pulse rate as breaking news every minute. With due respect, who is really bothered about all of this? It was crystal clear that Ramdev's fast was more of a political charade and TRP for media than the fight against corruption. So his demand was to bring all the black money from swizz bank to India. OK, what next? I'm sure he would have wanted a piece of that cake as well with his current assets legally valued more than 1,100 crores.

With everything said and done he broke his fast day before yesterday and I'm sure will be ready to hog like a pig today. The moral of the story is don't bite off more than you can chew. I really don't think general public backed his movement and had any faith in him and his motives. Guess that was the difference between Anna and Baba. The former's thoughts were put into action by the public and the latter's put into action only by the political parties. On an objective level, guess it was a move by BJP to get back into power next time around just like Osama's fake killing to help Obama run for another term. Its high time people stopped believing all these babas and so called godmen.

P.S - Doesn't a fast till death, count as an attempt to commit suicide? In that case shouldn't that person be arrested immediately?

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Indian culture and the gaping hole

It has been an eventful week. Kinda surprised myself with that much productivity in exchange for around 6hrs of sleep everyday, which is atleast 50% short for my standards. Nevertheless, I feel happily depleted. 

A new week has started and as I munch on my corn flakes, I realize the change in me. I was never a fan of bread or flakes for that matter and used to eat anything but them. It used to my diet when I got sick and had kinda built up an aversion for them. Now I've better things to worry about, and a yummy breakfast doesn't even feature in the top ten. However, I wouldn't mind getting up to 12 Idlis or 4 Masala Dosas. Guess these dishes are gona take me for a ride in my dreams today along with the usual Princess Leia in her gold bikini.

I really love to interact with people from different cultures and try out new things especially with food. There is no doubt that Indian food is the best. I'm not being patriotic, but its a fact that every little place in India has its own specialty and delicacies. I can say it with 99% confidence that it is impossible for any Indian in his lifetime to let alone experience the culture, but try out all possible delicacies from every nook and corner of the country.

We as Indians have always been proud of our culture and equally hypocritical. People go ga ga over the fact that the young generation is becoming westernized. Do they crib when infrastructure is matching up? NO. Do they whine when huge advances are being made in terms of technology and medical care? NO. Do they have any qualms when the GDP is raising and the rupee is being appreciated? NO. If it wasn't for the westernization, we wouldn't be speaking English or playing cricket. We would have looked like a country with language skills like that of China and nutrition like that of Africa even though parts of the country are still like this.

So why am I accusing people of being hypocritical? For starters, people have developed the attitude of "When I do it, its right and when you do it, its wrong". It is ok for you to start drinking at 20 but not when your son does the same. For what we know, we ourselves are not aware of our culture. India is the land of KamaSutra and how many times have you heard any one of those self proclaimed gurus of culture talking about it in public. The funniest of them all is, as a teenager you are not even supposed to know anything about sex or even look at women, but are expected to do it and score a 10 on the wedding night. I really find it hard to understand the logic behind it. 


Our culture has also been to suppress the women and torture them when her hubby dies. It is ok for a guy to move on but when a girl does the same, she is branded as a slut. Female infanticide is our culture but are we really ready to do something about it? For no fault of the rape victim, she is the one bearing the brunt of the society and we hold up the rapists and even make them our leaders. Women are supposed to keep their mouths shut when they are raped by their husbands just because they have the 'married' tag attached.

We even talk about being racially abused abroad and not being treated equally. I believe we lost the right to say it long back. Whether it is Australia or US or UK, the students have been known to create a ruckus and behave as everything is at their disposal. "When in Rome, be a Roman". I'm not asking people to change but the least we can do is respect their culture and abide by their rules and norms.


When Richard Gere gave Shilpa Shetty a peck on stage, the media went berserk over the need for teaching the former about our culture, who gives a damn when Indians who go abroad rape the girls with their eyes by staring at them like they have never seen a chick before and pass utterly  offensive comments when they walk on the road. Hell, we lost that right to say anything when we couldn't do anything about the communal riots inside our country. We cant even stand the people from neighbouring states and the age old fights between people from North and South is the 2nd most talked about topic after cricket. It is ok for us to be racists among ourselves but it isn't when we are given a taste of our own medicine?

P.S : To end it on a happy note, I bow down to Sachin Tendulkar for his historical feat of 50 test centuries. Bring on the ODIs, u're next. Doing this at the world cup will be the fitting end to his career. 

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365 days of life on an island - part 1

If you are caught off guard by time and do not notice the duration of the events happening around you, its time to take a look down the memory lane. People usually refer to this phenomenon as time flying even though I feel it should be referred to as time running. But then again, its me who is saying; who gives a damn? Its been a year so soon and I still remember all those parties just before I left India  even though I was almost knocked out in all of them. This post is dedicated to all those who have been a part of my life over the past 365 days. 

Day 1: In spite of gulping down 3 pegs of Red Label and 2 cans of Carling, I couldn't sleep on the plane and after watching a couple of movies, it was time to land and pass through numerous checks at Terminal 5 in Heathrow. I practically didn't realize that I had passed through immigration even after 3 days. The next scene resembled a movie in which I was running to gate 1 to catch my flight to Glasgow and made it with just under a minute left to close the doors. I sat down still gasping for breath and I heard the pilot saying "This flight has been delayed for an hour due to technical difficulties. Sorry for the inconvenience". Oh crappppppppp. Nevertheless, I finally reached Glasgow and was greeted with rain. Little that I realize that it was a sign of things to come.

Day 5: First day in Strathclyde and attending a class after more than a year. Felt great to see a lot of new faces. Little did I know that there were some unique characters and one very irritating homo sapien in there. I still pity the dude who realized this only recently. 

Day 6: After days and days of house hunting, finally moved into a house and actually a very beautiful house. I was more excited about the KFC and the McD in front of my house than civic amenities.

Day 15: All the emergency supplies had got exhausted and it was time to get down to some real cooking. But wait, it had got late to go to college and had to make a run to the class. Being a person who is always on time, I find it weird to have 100 odd eyes gazing at me as if I was tricked into confessing something like Tom Crusie  makes Jack Nicholson into blurting out the secret in the movie A Few Good Men(1992). However some do it on purpose for grabbing attention and the faking it girl managed to do it everyday to attract the attention of the opposite sex. Well that trick never worked and in the best case, repelled the male species away from her zone of existence.

Day 25: The leaves had started to wither away and the incessant rains had made commuting very discomforting. It literally used to rain everyday and the presence of strong winds not only made the life more difficult but brutally murdered my umbrellas. The deadlines for assignments had started approaching and it was time to slog day and night. Managed to call a few friends and family members that day and exhausted the credit on my calling card.

Day 85: I walked into the kitchen to make some breakfast and when I looked outside, I saw that the weather was very gloomy and it was raining as usual. No wait, there is something unusual about the rain and it looks white. Oh wowwww, it was the first time I had seen a snowfall and was very excited. I ran out out of the house bare footed to have some snow flakes on my tongue. After getting back to my senses, I realized that my feet had gone too cold and had to run back into the house. The next 2 days saw almost everyone posting pics about the first snowfall and it was a beautiful sight in the beginning.

Day 99: Back after a trip to London. Thanks to Mr & Mrs Spoke for the great hospitality and taking us students around in the city that houses murky water Thames. To quote a dialogue from one of my favorites movies, Snatch "Yes London. You know, fish, chips, cup of tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary-fucking-Poppins, London". Well I couldn't find a more apt description of the city even though I could add 1 more adjective, insanely expensive.

Day 102: It was happy new year time and I woke up from a bad hangover from the previous night's new year party. But then again, I didn't have any other better work to do and so went back to sleep to avoid the hangover. Being a person who always tries new remedies for hangover, I realized that sleeping again was not a remedy and instead a big mistake. I have tried everything from coffee, green tea, curd rice, banana milk shake, drinking litres of water, working out to all the desi remedies including a crazy thought of even jerking off (oh boy, it just feels like a bomb exploding in the head, please don't try it). But trust me none of them work and the only way to avoid hangover is "to stay drunk".

A new year calls for a new post. With some of my readers asking me to make my posts shorter, I'm taking their suggestions and ending this here. However, the story is just 1/3rd over and still a long way to go. I will try to complete it before I head back to India next week. Chronicles of the land of Kama Sutra and drunken revelations are some of the posts that you can look out for in the near future.

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