Croatia - A Snowy Start

It was an early flight on a cold morning, full of not so pretty air hostesses. The wifu decided to have a quick nap, and though I'm not the person who usually chats to strangers, I gave it a shot. I'm not sure whether that person sitting next to me was constipated or hungover or had a colonoscopy done recently or all three. I thought I was the socially awkward penguin but this guy made me feel like unsalted butter.

Landed in Zagreb a bit late and picked up some new words looking at the signs. It was time to rent a car and I've seen even samosa sellers more passionate about their products than this rental guy. I enquired about some taxes on the bills and his reply was *with a smile* "Please sign here, I dunno anything" . I ask him about the speed limits and he says *with a smile* "Boards everywhere, don't worry" which later turned out to be not true. I think he was the company's only employee. He went to wash the car and get it from the parking lot and left the counter unattended. It was then I realized that he hadn't even turned the lights on inside his booth.

Finally got the car, a decent Aveo. But the problem started as soon as we sat in the car. The left hand steering, driving on the right side of the road in an unknown country and testing a new GPS for the first time. Luckily we both had that teenager kinda josh to just get going and take things as they came along. There were numerous times when I tried to change the gear with my left hand and kept banging my hand against the door. But guess what, the experience of invariably overtaking from left on Bangalore-Mysore highway finally got me into my comfort zone and made me feel at home.

The speed limits were clearly marked on the freeways (autocesta) and was in most places 130. But the problem was that our car was probably having her time of the month. At times it would be above par to the speed limit but in most cases would struggle to keep up to it. I even tried standing on the accelerator and it would still be a bit stubborn. 

We kept passing through numerous towns and the houses resembled Indian rural houses. Amidst heavy snow, most of the restaurants were either shut, or had their access blocked by snow or looked terrible. It was only after a couple of hours that we found a decent place to eat. By this time, we had got off the freeway and the speed limits ranged from 40 to 90 within half a km. In spite of maintaining the limit, I got numerous stares from overtaking vehicles (another incident that reminded of India).

We planned to visit Barac caves which were famous for its stalacities and stalagmites but unfortunately the caves were shut due to snow. We drove along from here and the road started to get a rough with a bit of potholes, then full of gravel, then just slush and finally we reached a point where no vehicle had gone past it. There was around 2 feet of snow everywhere and was no way one could differentiate a road from a deep pit. What made it worse was there were hardly any houses around and the only soul apart from us was a dog.

It was so quiet there that one could probably hear the sound of even a snow flake hitting the ground. After admiring our interesting situation, we decided to turn around and trace our road back to the highway.  



It had started to get dark and we finally checked into the house and our host Osana was very friendly and warm. She even got us some home made sweet pastry which was a local delicacy. It was tasty but I just couldn't get her to tell me its name. After all, she only spoke a few English words. 

This was just day 1. One of the best days was day 2. Lots more to follow ....

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Corrupt - Shun

Its one of those rare times when something other than cricket has taken precedence in Indian media. I think it can be safe to say that this time, Anna Hazare stole even the Independence Day's thunder. With due fairness, he kinda deserved it. After all these years, it was known to be a national holiday where people are forced to attend flag hoisting events, sing a few songs and distribute sweets.

Its nice to see people from all walks of life uniting for a cause. Even the dabbawalas of Mumbai stopped their operations for a day to show their support, the first time these guys have bunked work in 120 years. Its even nice to see people in other countries as well involving themselves and atleast spreading the message.

The fight against corruption has surely united the country and one probably gets a glimpse of what the freedom struggle might have look like. While the whole Annagiri and a strong Lokpal Bill might be the right weapons to fight corruption, they might not just be right for this moment. I'm not being cynical or pessimistic but we all know the root cause of this problem.

Its always very easy to blame the government and the politicians for everything, even though I must admit this time someone really has to put the 'Man' into 'Mohan' and make him a real Singh. The solution to eradicate corruption isn't a bill or a protest. For all we know it looks like a huge tangled fur ball and we are of the illusion that pulling the two ends with a bill and a protest will solve the issue. As citizens, each and everyone of us have found ourselves atleast once among this food chain of corruption.

The reason why corruption exists in such a huge proportion is because whether you accept it or not, in many cases it becomes a necessity and more often than not makes matters easy for all the parties involved. Why do we pay 50 bucks to the PC and avoid a Rs.300 fine for driving without a licence. For once, you would like to get away by paying less and the less paid constable wouldn't mind some pocket money.  Put yourself into the PC's position. The guy probably has a family and has to take care of his kids' needs but is paid a meager 5k per month. So does he have any other option? The solution lies not in just education but in bringing about the right economic reforms. Bump up their pay-scales to a respectable number, something on par with what is paid for freshers in private firms and then see the difference. The necessity to put the hand under the table will be eradicated. But the again, I've also seen people earning 6 figure salaries every month resorting to cheap antics like the one mentioned above which talks a lot about filthy people trying to remove filth. 

All I want to insist is that the change must come from within. Once the big fishes are devoid of  small fishes to feed on, a shift in the chain will take place. Stop bribing the agents to get your passport or licence done and please stop bribing the poojary to get a better glimpse of a stone structure.

P.S - I'm off to the Oval to hopefully witness the 100th 100 and have those "I was there" moments.

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"We Are The Champions" - India #CWC2011

Yesss!!! Yesssssssssssss!!!Wooooohooooooooooooo!!! These were the words that came out of my mouth when Dhoni scripted the most stylish finish to a world cup. The adrenalin was pumping and everyone was so high on energy at Walkabout on Saturday that it mimicked a stadium atmosphere, which even included a dhol. I had held onto my beer mug till the end and composed stone cold's entrance music to commemorate the victory thus sacrificing the mug. The Indo-Pak fever had literally got to me and I was down with fever earlier in the week. Even though I missed watching that match in similar atmosphere, I have to confess that watching India winning the WorldCup was the best feeling of my lifetime.

All thanks to a wonderful team in whom I always believed, I can now tell the story of how India won the worldcup to my kids and possible grand kids. There have been some absolutely stunning individual performances over the worldcup but there is no doubt that this victory was a perfect team effort dedicated to the great man himself, Sachin Tendulkar. Kohli's statement was perfect when he said that Sachin had carried the burden of a nation for 21 years and its time we carried him on our shoulders.

Yuvraj Singh was one of the start performers of the tournament. There was a time I remember when he couldn't field at point and had upgraded his looks with a double chin and a paunch. But it was definitely a treat to see him flying on the field along with murdering the bowling attack and chipping in with a few wickets as well. Zaheer Khan has become such a mature cricketer that its a treat to watch him when he is on song. I still remember the first over he bowled in the 2003 worldcup finals when he had a lot of Sreesanth like temperament. But to become the leading wicket taker in the tournament and most importantly taking those vital wickets has to be one of his career highs.

Its really hard to put yourself in Dhoni's shoes. I can't even imagine the pressure of a billion fans on your shoulders. No doubt he had taken a few calls which backfired and some almost did, but at the end of the day, he had the guns and balls to pull things back and put up a show when it really mattered. Hats off to this gem of a cricketer and the greatest Indian captain. It just makes my rendezvous with Dhoni 6 months back even more memorable.

This win has given me one of those "I was there" moments. There were a lot of people at Walkabout who had come to be a part of history and there were some who had come just for the heck of it. The latter group of people mainly consisted of self proclaimed eye candies who couldn't even tell the difference between powerplay and innings break. These were the people who had come to say "I too was there". At the end of the day it was great to see a lot of divided people united by a common cause. The hashtag of #CWC2011 has finally seen its happy ending and we will probably see a birth of #IPL4 soon.

Congrats India once again for the winning the WorldCup and hopefully we can retain it 4 years from now. The stage was perfectly set for Sachin to retire, but then again I guess the kid in him is urging to push till the next WorldCup.

P.S - I also felt one of the legends of the game Muralitharan deserved a better send off.

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Dark Truth About White Terrorism

Just a couple of weeks back, I talked about natural calamities and as if all of it wasn't enough, we are hell bent on making this world a living hell. While terrorism has mainly been synonymous with Islam, not many people realize that the same when done wearing wearing suits earns you accolades. This type of white terrorism is what most of the first world countries specialize in and eventually make a habit out of. 

Lets go back just a decade. The 9/11 was the biggest inside job with Bush and co staging it. They just wanted a reason to invade Iraq and capture the oil wells. Bush invaded Iraq on the pretext of finding Saddam's weapons of mass destruction(WMD) even though everyone knew there was none. The movie Green Zone sheds some light on this topic and is a good watch as it doesn't over hype the U.S military like in most other cliched movies.

10 years later, its the same story yet again but with different actors. Its Obama now who has invaded Libya on the pretext of ending Gaddaffi's regime. Libya has one of the purest sources of oil and their main exports are to other European nations. So its the oil yet again thats doing the job of a carrot. The U.S have suddenly decided to take a step back and have announced that the power has been transferred to Britain. One can only assume that David Cameron pursuaded the queen to invite Obama to the Royal Bachelors party and luring him with the fact that his old buddy Snoop Dogg will be there as well.

If at all the U.S were really honest about their intentions, whatever happened to imposing a no fly zone over Egypt as well which faced a similar situation. No oil, no invasion. I have really lost all respect for the U.N and all those bodies that meet once in a while to bring about the so called peace. The biggest irony is that a person like Obama who actively initiated the war, received a Nobel prize for peace recently. People are quick to judge Muslims as terrorists for killing innocent people. But the men in suits have killed innocent countries and I believe its high time, the rest of the world stepped up and warned U.S to mind its own business and pick lint from its own shit.

While all this is said and done, the terrorists who are actually scheming to bring down a country by planting silly bombs and suicide bombers are not better either. My issue is never with a community or a country but the intention behind these destructive acts. I don't give a damn whether you are a Hindu or a Muslim or a Christian or whether you are from U.S or India or Pakistan. Whether your motive behind killing people is as commercial as oil or as narrow minded as converting people to a particular religion, you are a terrorist.

I read a statement given by a leader of some Islamic body saying that Allah has punished Japan with earthquakes and tsunamis for supporting a country like U.S. These are the kind of things that make me detest the religional beliefs as these people are not only in a delusional state but also try to wipe out the sanity factor in others. If at all there is god, I really don't think he/she would be bothered about punishing some X country for supporting decisions of some Y country. #SuperLame

These two kinds of terrorists are not only incapable of thinking outside a cloud filled with stinking thoughts, but will manage to kill a lot of innocent people and contribute to ending this world with some help from natural calamities.

P.S - Amidst all this political/cultural/religional nonsense, I'm really happy that my life is back into my life and I'm very excited. People who know me well know what I'm talking about :-)

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A Tie Maker #CWC2011

The infamous cricket World Cup has already begun and it will be a real sin from my side to not write about it. I could have probably controlled this temptation for a maximum of one more week but after yesterday's Ind vs Eng match in Bengaluru, I reached the tipping point. The satisfaction of writing this post is similar to that of holding it in for 5 hours on an uncomfortable bus journey after downing 4 pints and finally taking a leak in your own toilet, thus admiring the beauty of natural phenomenon.

After some really boring games at the #CWC2011, yesterday's game turned out to be one of the best games among all of the WorldCups. Not just because of the runs scored or the domino like batting collapse or the result of the game, but also because of the controversial UDRS. This match thoroughly emphasized the fact that cricket is a team game and just individual contributions aren't enough( I forbid Ravi Shastri from copying this line as its is copyrighted under my name). 

The top order from both the teams set up the match beautifully but the middle and the lower orders made sure that there were enough twists in the tale, ultimately ensuring that the end would sound like a story from one of the moral science books. Tendulkar was cautious to begin with but paced his innings in a classy manner to get his 47th ODI hundred, thus crawling close to that 50 mark. Strauss's innings was nothing short of brilliance as he made all the Indian bowlers beg for mercy. He got every bowler into his favorite position as he slowly and steadily, with the use of a lubricant did them where it hurts the most, thus disfiguring their figures.

More than 675 runs were scored for the loss of 18 wickets totally. The UDRS seems to be the most complicated system used to make things simpler, thus making the situation even more complicated. It is like giving a student tips on cracking an exam and giving him a book also on how to crack these tips but restricting him from using not more than 3 tips. If it looks like LBW, if the Hawkeye says it is LBW, then raise that crooked finger. I really couldn't get my head around that 2.5m clause in the rule. In that case, KP(Pietersen) who bats couple of feet outside the crease can never be judged out LBW if he is playing on his front foot. We shouldn't be surprised to see a "LBW factor" coming into play, based on the length of the batsman's stride, his height, weight, Zodiac sign, skin tone, sexual orientation, no of previous partners, no of followers on Twitter, and finally if the ball is actually hitting him in line and going on to hit the stumps.

While both teams deserved to win, they equally deserved to loose. No doubt, there were some nail biting, heart pounding and nerve crunching moments which made up for the fabulous game of cricket, but both teams walked out after breaking even. A tie at the end looked like a fitting result. I never thought I would say this, but Ravi Shastri's typical dialogue, "At the end of the day, cricket was the winner" actually is apt for this situation. But it surely wasn't when South Africa chased down 434 against Australia and definitely not when India won the T20 match against Pakistan in a bowl out. I surely missed watching this game in the stadium, as it would have easily gone down as one of those "I was there" moments.

P.S - Can someone please tell Yeddy that the victory symbol that he uses irrespective of the situation(even in a tied game) is not the same as \m/ .

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Valentine's day special - Love maadi nodu

Lock your wallets. Freeze your bank accounts. Stay at home. Follow these suggestions and you'll not be asking your friend to loan you money at the end of this month, even though it has just 28 days. Well its February and its Valentine's day and what more can you expect. Its that one day of the year when the world looks like what Anil Kapoor saw in Mr.India. Red, red and more red. There are red roses, red balloons, red cherries, red lipsticks, red wines and in some cases red blood.

Frankly speaking, the last one comes closest to personifying Valentine's day, after all the so called St.Valentine was beheaded on this day. In the golden words of Sheldon Cooper, "Given that St.Valentine was a 3rd century Roman priest, who was stoned and beheaded, wouldn't a more appropriate celebration of the evening be taking one steady gal to witness a brutal murder?" I totally disagree with what he says, after all where can one get volunteers nowadays who give their consent to getting beheaded in front of a crowd :-P.

I truly believe that this is one event that has been commercially milked in the perfect manner. Nobody cares about who is falling in love with whom or which girl slapped which guy or who jumped off a building as a result of a failed proposal. Hallmark and Archies are hellbent on selling more cards and teddy bears compared to the previous year. Restaurants are focused on increasing their profits by coming up with competing promotions. Ann Summers is well...., doing what they have been doing and they know for a fact that their sales are going to go up. The Bajrang Dals and Ram Senas are going to get all the unwanted media attention as a result of their stale hypocritic culture nonsense. At the end of the day, the businesses have made money, the guys(mostly) have seen a steep drop in their bank balance, some couples are happy and some couples have well, become singles.

I still remember those days during school, when we used to eagerly wait for this day. Not because I wanted to propose to a girl and definitely not because I was hoping for some girl to come and ask me out ( I was secretly hoping for that, but damn...!! Not even once). It used to be fun to see guys doing things that were totally unnatural of themselves. While a guy used to wait for the "love of his life" with a bunch of roses, there used to be numerous other girls who would avoid this guy, even though they secretly wanted atleast him to ask them out. Ultimately, that girl would come out and the guy who had rehearsed his dialogues the previous night would be dumbstruck and carry a sore face. Why? Most of the time, the girl would have her hands full of roses, chocolates and teddy bears and would be falling in love with all the attention. The irony is this most wanted girl too will have a crush on some other guy or in some cases even a girl but will be too timid to actually say it.

The only thing I would like to say is that you don't need a separate day to show your love and express it. Shower your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife with unconditional love and most importantly love them for what they are and not what you want them to be.

P.S - I miss my Valentine dearly, and not because it is the 14th of February.

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Fight or Flight Response

Imagine walking on the road late in the night and you happen to bump into a couple of drunks. As expected they start talking nonsense and start abusing you. You are alone and do not see any other soul nearby. Watcha gona do? You can either run away from there hoping that you'll not run into a similar situation or you can play the Rocky soundtrack in your head and throw a couple of punches at them. Don't worry the drunkards will have a higher probability of punching a tree than you, considering their balanced state.

The former response is called as flight and the latter is called as fight. The fight or flight response is common among animals and humans when they are under stress. If at all a deer is attacked by a lion, it runs and thus opts for flight. Rats tend to respond in a similar manner when attacked but throw a fight when they are cornered. We all have experienced these scenarios and generally speaking males tend to opt for fight and females tend to flee when confronted in certain situations.

Now lets apply this theory to our day to day lives. You have a manager who constantly criticizes you or overloads your schedule with unwanted or his share of work. What do you do? My solution would be to fight. When I mean fight, I'm not suggesting one to scream or abuse the manager let alone kicking him in the groin area. A fight here can be looked at channeling your aggression to get the work done and increase your productivity thus filtering out your anger. If one decides to flee in this situation by getting depressed or having those Monday morning blues throughout Monday and for the rest of the week, it not only undermines your potential but also makes you a bouncing board for your manager's self satisfying releases.

These reactions can have a resounding effect on a team. The attitude of one person in team can have a cascading effect on others. Back in the 1980s and 1990s, the Indian cricket team was known for playing cricket matches overseas just for the sake of formality. They had convinced themselves that they couldn't win a series overseas and would just go and play to help the BCCI make some money. But look at the situation now. There have been numerous records broken in the past few years and some of the senior players and even tailenders in the team have shown a lot of resilience. VVS Laxman's fighting spirit and classy knocks have made the team believe that they can win even after following on and even when they are 8 down. This is just one of the many examples that show how the responsive actions can impact the overall attitude of a team.

Not all the time does the fighting instinct help you. There are situations when the best option is to flee and not look back.  Yasi the cyclone that has lead to mass destruction in Australia, is a prime example. Whether it is the Yasi or Katrina or something as a big as the Tsunami, your best option is to flee.

We humans exhibit these kind of responses in numerous situations in our daily lives. While it all boils down to choosing flight or fight, what can cause more damage is the tendency to choose  the same option everytime. I guess Yeddy is a classic example of a guy opting to flee whenever he is under stress. He spent more time in the temples and donating millions of the tax payers' money to them when he was needed in the office. Now that his chair is became weak, he flew to the banks of a river to please the gods with his striptease.

P.S - Just a dozen more days to go, have to see which team will fight and eventually take the Udaan with the ICC cricket WorldCup.

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#IndianParents

For some unknown reason, I had started tweeting a lot with the hashtag of #IndianParents. Just to freshen up the memory, the following are some of them.

"Its disgusting. How can you think of girls being just a teenager ?" #IndianParents

"Start studying for your exams. Only 3 more months left "#IndianParents

"With these marks, you can neither become an engineer nor a doctor. Your life is doomed nd u r better off committing suicide"#IndianParents

"I saw a porn CD on our 19 yr old son's table. He is spoilt and we have 2 take him 2 a #psychiatrist before its 2 late"#IndianParents

"Stop talking to the guys in your class. If the word goes out, none of the grooms will agree to marry you" #IndianParents

Even though few might beg to differ, I'm sure a majority would have faced these kind of dialogues in their lifetime. One actually feels that these days are gone with our generation but I have been looking at a lot of new kids in that awkward age and a new breed of parents torturing their kids with the same old medicine in a new improved pack.

Its actually quite amusing to see parents resorting to their "hand holding" behavior even when their kids have actually given birth to kids. Respect can always be overrated and many a times is misinterpreted as bad advice, which is a very dangerous scenario. Telling your parents that you are about to start a new firm and would like them only to inaugurate it shows respect. However, discussing your future as a web designer or a Java programmer with your old man who is a pensioner can lead to disastrous circumstances. I'm not undermining the suggestions of parents but more often than not, it is always advisable to keep them posted rather than get posted by them until and unless you decide to follow your parents' footprints.

The fact that one has to marry a person chosen by parents might make the westerners go #wtf but it is definitely something that will take generations to eradicate. The concept of arranged marriages is logically equivalent to you picking up a random girl walking on the road and marrying her while you are being sober. In most of the cases, the guy and the girl don't talk much before getting married and most of the unwanted talk is done by parents. The following questions have been lingering as I haven't been able to get my head around arranged marriages:

1> How can the parents possibly get to know the kind of person a girl is, by just "checking her out" once, when even a lifetime is not enough to understand your spouses completely.

2> Even if you end up talking to the girl, how comfortable would you be discussing your "positions" and latex/leather/lather fetishes and that your are more of a "doggie-style" lover, all this and more on your first official privacy deprived date in front of parents.

3> The concept of a girl moving to a guy's house and getting used to his parents is most complicated part. The worst case can be a lazy nagging mother-in-law, a disease ridden father-in-law and a husband blaming you for the above problems.

It really is a gamble actually getting married like this. You know the fact that the odds of winning are very low and you decide to go all in. Guess these people will do great at the poker table with a poker face naturally seasoned over the years.

The Indian Parents take a lot of time to realize that their son/daughter has actually chosen a partner with whom they are ready to go that extra mile. In most of the cases they don't actually realize how lucky they are as they stand a chance to become grandparents. They should be happy just for the fact that their son has chosen a girl and their daughter has chosen a guy. For all we know, the daughter could have ended up using a lot of toys while the son son might have ended up with more than a sausage in his mouth.

I guess the trend is going to change soon and very soon homosexual marriages will be treated as love marriages. Who knows, even incest might be on the cards. Only time will tell.

Would love to read your opinions/experiences on this topic.

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Lights Camera Auction

After being riddled with numerous controversies ever since its last edition, the IPL players' auction finally took place in Bengaluru over the weekend. I was more eager to listen to Arun Lal's stupid comments than to actually watch the auction. The weekend sprung a lot of surprises with the media cashing in on the event more than anyone. Probably the auction got more coverage than any of the election results. A William Hill in India would have probably made millions over the weekend with an substantial number of farmer suicides.

To start off, the Bollywood bimbos were back showing off more booty than brains. One cant help but wonder if they even know the names of all the players in their team. Preity Zinta who has finally shelved her flab really needed to read the book "Auction rules for dummies". Somebody had to tell her that once a player has been bought, the bidding ends there and raising money and even her top after this wouldn't help her.

It was great to see Chennai retaining around 8 players from their original team thus emphasizing the fact that its a real team. RCB has a totally new look but then again to go through the phases of forming, storming, norming and performing will probably take atleast 1 edition of IPL. The funny thing is that all the teams have managed to find atleast one self destructor or suicide bomber for themselves. KKR has Brett Lee, RCB has Mohammad Kaif, KXIP has Piyush Chawla, DD has the stallion Ajit Agarkar, DC has Ishant Sharma, MI has Munaf Patel, CSK has S.Badrinath,  RR has Shaun Tait, PW has Ashish Nehra and Kochi has a brigade of suicide bombers with the likes of Jadeja, Sreesanth, R.P Singh,VVS and Vinay Kumar. These are the kind of players who can single handedly win the match for the opponents.

On the other hand there have been some great picks for the money paid for Davy Jacobs, V.D Merwe, KP, N.McCullum and Randiv. Most of these players will turn out to be the dark horses and it was nice to see that many uncapped international players were also in demand. The teams had done their research and were trying to form their teams based on some strategy. CSK for example, wanted to retain the old team as much as they could and RCB wanted to build a solid fielding unit and Kochi for that matter, looked like they wanted a team full of coconut pickers.

The best part about the auction was that the true quality of players came out. People have always been hypocritical and scared to play down the veterans even though deep down they also knew the hard reality. There was a time when Ganguly was a great player and ever since his weakness to the short ball was exposed, his decline started. For the kind of stubborn person he is, he refused to work on his weakness and was confident that his reputation was more than enough to continue his career. He probably wouldn't have been picked by any teams even in the first IPL if he hadn't been an icon player. Its high time that he put his pads down for good and grace us all with the good news of not becoming a commentator. I also felt that Lara should have opted out of the IPL. At his age, none of the teams would be interested in making an investment. It just reminded me of Schumacher making a return and failing terribly. 

I guess time will bring out the true colors of the teams and with the World Cup just around the corner, it promises to be a cricket feast for 3 months starting in mid February. Bring on the good stuff. As Mallya would say, "a small quarter for cricket, a great kick of mankind".

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2010: The year that wasn't, was and never will be

Its that time of the year when everyone is either coming up with resolutions or trying their best to avoid them. Either way, they are bound to be unsuccessful. The best way to cope with this is to come up with a resolution a month or two before the D-day and blissfully break it on that day. This way, the countdown looks more like a countdown to break the shackles rather than to get bound by them.

2010 has actually been a very controversial year even if you exclude my sting operation to prove the eternal lust turned love between David Cameron and Nick Clegg.

The British media couldn't blame it on the direction and speed of the wind and the sound of vuvuzelas and had to stick to Green for their Worldcup miseries. Probably was the best year for the England cricket team. The nicotine patches had changed into purple and with successes in the T20 Worldcup and the Ashes, it was probably their best chance of stealing the thunder away from football. After Afridi's hunger for white balls, the immature spot-fixing trio proved that men are bad at "faking it".

Assange and his uncontrollable leaks not only made matters worse for Uncle Sam but helped various sanitary brands to plug the leaks. Really love some of the mirrors on which Wiki Leaks is hosted http://213.251.145.96/Mirrors.html. The #Barkhagate controversy was the Indian vesion of Wiki Leaks.

Until October, Kalmadi was just a regular bearded guy wearing running shoes with formal pants. The money laundering and CWG scams where he paid more money for a rented Z-grade equipment than for a A-grade new one launched him to a totally untouchable level. Not because he couldn't be touched but because he was hiding under Soniaji's saree. Inspite of delivering the most 'booooo'ed speech at the opening ceremony and also partnering with Shera to flounder a share of this and a share of that, the man's style remained impeccably simple with the same aforementioned attire. For a guy who had looted so much of the tax payers' money that he could actually buy Armani, Gucci, Hugo Boss and still have spare change, he chose to wear the same clothes as the masons and proved that he was a simpleton.

It was a year when Tendulkar turned 37 and hit the best form of his life (Right, like we haven't heard that before). While millions were bowing down to the little master's achievements, Arun Lal and Sanjay Manjrekar were busy discussing the fact that Sachin's backlift has reduced by 1.2cms over these years and he has gained 2 pounds over the last year which in turn has helped him to set new records. Arun Lal also claimed on air that he had presented this magic formula to Sachin on his birthday but honorably requested  his identity to be kept anonymous.

While the politicians in Karnataka were too busy playing polistrip poker, with the only twist being not taking off their clothes but of their most beloved politicians from the opposite party. As the whole world witnessed politicians showing off their bare chests in the assembly, none of them even bothered about the more boiling issues of the state. When a severe shortage of vegetables occurred at the end of the year, the state government started blaming the central government and vice versa with CM Yeddy's solution being to set the record for the most number of temples visited in a week, yet again. The act required him to abstain from all possible activities that involved his libido. But he seemed to listen to 50 Cent's candy shop a lot and couldn't get past the line "Ill melt in your mouth girl, not in your hand".

To round it all up. I wish everyone a very depressing, stale and a crappy new year. Hope I have motivated all of you to prove me wrong and perform miracles this year.

Would love to read any interesting 31st night experiences in the comments section below. My indulgence on Absinth has made me wonder whether the whole party was probably a hallucination or not.

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Indian culture and the gaping hole

It has been an eventful week. Kinda surprised myself with that much productivity in exchange for around 6hrs of sleep everyday, which is atleast 50% short for my standards. Nevertheless, I feel happily depleted. 

A new week has started and as I munch on my corn flakes, I realize the change in me. I was never a fan of bread or flakes for that matter and used to eat anything but them. It used to my diet when I got sick and had kinda built up an aversion for them. Now I've better things to worry about, and a yummy breakfast doesn't even feature in the top ten. However, I wouldn't mind getting up to 12 Idlis or 4 Masala Dosas. Guess these dishes are gona take me for a ride in my dreams today along with the usual Princess Leia in her gold bikini.

I really love to interact with people from different cultures and try out new things especially with food. There is no doubt that Indian food is the best. I'm not being patriotic, but its a fact that every little place in India has its own specialty and delicacies. I can say it with 99% confidence that it is impossible for any Indian in his lifetime to let alone experience the culture, but try out all possible delicacies from every nook and corner of the country.

We as Indians have always been proud of our culture and equally hypocritical. People go ga ga over the fact that the young generation is becoming westernized. Do they crib when infrastructure is matching up? NO. Do they whine when huge advances are being made in terms of technology and medical care? NO. Do they have any qualms when the GDP is raising and the rupee is being appreciated? NO. If it wasn't for the westernization, we wouldn't be speaking English or playing cricket. We would have looked like a country with language skills like that of China and nutrition like that of Africa even though parts of the country are still like this.

So why am I accusing people of being hypocritical? For starters, people have developed the attitude of "When I do it, its right and when you do it, its wrong". It is ok for you to start drinking at 20 but not when your son does the same. For what we know, we ourselves are not aware of our culture. India is the land of KamaSutra and how many times have you heard any one of those self proclaimed gurus of culture talking about it in public. The funniest of them all is, as a teenager you are not even supposed to know anything about sex or even look at women, but are expected to do it and score a 10 on the wedding night. I really find it hard to understand the logic behind it. 


Our culture has also been to suppress the women and torture them when her hubby dies. It is ok for a guy to move on but when a girl does the same, she is branded as a slut. Female infanticide is our culture but are we really ready to do something about it? For no fault of the rape victim, she is the one bearing the brunt of the society and we hold up the rapists and even make them our leaders. Women are supposed to keep their mouths shut when they are raped by their husbands just because they have the 'married' tag attached.

We even talk about being racially abused abroad and not being treated equally. I believe we lost the right to say it long back. Whether it is Australia or US or UK, the students have been known to create a ruckus and behave as everything is at their disposal. "When in Rome, be a Roman". I'm not asking people to change but the least we can do is respect their culture and abide by their rules and norms.


When Richard Gere gave Shilpa Shetty a peck on stage, the media went berserk over the need for teaching the former about our culture, who gives a damn when Indians who go abroad rape the girls with their eyes by staring at them like they have never seen a chick before and pass utterly  offensive comments when they walk on the road. Hell, we lost that right to say anything when we couldn't do anything about the communal riots inside our country. We cant even stand the people from neighbouring states and the age old fights between people from North and South is the 2nd most talked about topic after cricket. It is ok for us to be racists among ourselves but it isn't when we are given a taste of our own medicine?

P.S : To end it on a happy note, I bow down to Sachin Tendulkar for his historical feat of 50 test centuries. Bring on the ODIs, u're next. Doing this at the world cup will be the fitting end to his career. 

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365 days of life on an island - part 1

If you are caught off guard by time and do not notice the duration of the events happening around you, its time to take a look down the memory lane. People usually refer to this phenomenon as time flying even though I feel it should be referred to as time running. But then again, its me who is saying; who gives a damn? Its been a year so soon and I still remember all those parties just before I left India  even though I was almost knocked out in all of them. This post is dedicated to all those who have been a part of my life over the past 365 days. 

Day 1: In spite of gulping down 3 pegs of Red Label and 2 cans of Carling, I couldn't sleep on the plane and after watching a couple of movies, it was time to land and pass through numerous checks at Terminal 5 in Heathrow. I practically didn't realize that I had passed through immigration even after 3 days. The next scene resembled a movie in which I was running to gate 1 to catch my flight to Glasgow and made it with just under a minute left to close the doors. I sat down still gasping for breath and I heard the pilot saying "This flight has been delayed for an hour due to technical difficulties. Sorry for the inconvenience". Oh crappppppppp. Nevertheless, I finally reached Glasgow and was greeted with rain. Little that I realize that it was a sign of things to come.

Day 5: First day in Strathclyde and attending a class after more than a year. Felt great to see a lot of new faces. Little did I know that there were some unique characters and one very irritating homo sapien in there. I still pity the dude who realized this only recently. 

Day 6: After days and days of house hunting, finally moved into a house and actually a very beautiful house. I was more excited about the KFC and the McD in front of my house than civic amenities.

Day 15: All the emergency supplies had got exhausted and it was time to get down to some real cooking. But wait, it had got late to go to college and had to make a run to the class. Being a person who is always on time, I find it weird to have 100 odd eyes gazing at me as if I was tricked into confessing something like Tom Crusie  makes Jack Nicholson into blurting out the secret in the movie A Few Good Men(1992). However some do it on purpose for grabbing attention and the faking it girl managed to do it everyday to attract the attention of the opposite sex. Well that trick never worked and in the best case, repelled the male species away from her zone of existence.

Day 25: The leaves had started to wither away and the incessant rains had made commuting very discomforting. It literally used to rain everyday and the presence of strong winds not only made the life more difficult but brutally murdered my umbrellas. The deadlines for assignments had started approaching and it was time to slog day and night. Managed to call a few friends and family members that day and exhausted the credit on my calling card.

Day 85: I walked into the kitchen to make some breakfast and when I looked outside, I saw that the weather was very gloomy and it was raining as usual. No wait, there is something unusual about the rain and it looks white. Oh wowwww, it was the first time I had seen a snowfall and was very excited. I ran out out of the house bare footed to have some snow flakes on my tongue. After getting back to my senses, I realized that my feet had gone too cold and had to run back into the house. The next 2 days saw almost everyone posting pics about the first snowfall and it was a beautiful sight in the beginning.

Day 99: Back after a trip to London. Thanks to Mr & Mrs Spoke for the great hospitality and taking us students around in the city that houses murky water Thames. To quote a dialogue from one of my favorites movies, Snatch "Yes London. You know, fish, chips, cup of tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary-fucking-Poppins, London". Well I couldn't find a more apt description of the city even though I could add 1 more adjective, insanely expensive.

Day 102: It was happy new year time and I woke up from a bad hangover from the previous night's new year party. But then again, I didn't have any other better work to do and so went back to sleep to avoid the hangover. Being a person who always tries new remedies for hangover, I realized that sleeping again was not a remedy and instead a big mistake. I have tried everything from coffee, green tea, curd rice, banana milk shake, drinking litres of water, working out to all the desi remedies including a crazy thought of even jerking off (oh boy, it just feels like a bomb exploding in the head, please don't try it). But trust me none of them work and the only way to avoid hangover is "to stay drunk".

A new year calls for a new post. With some of my readers asking me to make my posts shorter, I'm taking their suggestions and ending this here. However, the story is just 1/3rd over and still a long way to go. I will try to complete it before I head back to India next week. Chronicles of the land of Kama Sutra and drunken revelations are some of the posts that you can look out for in the near future.

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