Real-life Movie Scene

As previously mentioned in Of teas and Pregnant Women, I have to travel to Edinburgh to work everyday. Not only is it a pain on days with bad weather, but it constantly keeps reminding me of that fact that I'm growing old. The reason I say this is because I used to see my Dad and some of his friends travelling from Mysore to Bangalore and back for work everyday for years together. They were all atleast 40 when they were doing this, and back then I used to think this is what life becomes when you grow old and start looking after a family. Huh, now this is some reality check!!

Scotland has always been known for its beautiful, warm and sunny weather. I actually mean the worst possible contradictory adjectives to what I just described. I've had my fair share of this during the winter, which is quite expected and frankly, impossible to dodge. But last week was one of the weirdest days which was made worse by the "over cautious and security concerned" people.

As it turned out, I left work a few minutes early as I could see that it was drizzling and quite windy. As I reached Haymarket, the usual stop where I board my bus, I saw that there were hundreds of people there. Apparently the Haymarket train station was also shut due to strong winds. Strong probably isn't the right word to describe it. There were winds blowing at around 100mph and could literally push a heavy duty like me off my feet. To make this weather more lovable, it started raining quite heavily and all of us were waiting for a bus to come with no roof over our heads. After an agonizing 45 min wait came a bus which didn't stop as it was full. No surprises there. So I decided to take a local bus and head to the main bus station.

I finally reached there and all the events from now resembled a overhyped Hollywood movie. The main bus station had been evacuated and there were numerous security personnel guarding the entrances with barricades. For a moment I actually thought that some hostage scenario was taking place inside as all those macho, grumpy security guys were screaming and asking people to move away from the doors and the walls of the bus station. The bus station is not only quite small but actually looks like a mall from outside.

Right, even the Waverly train station was closed and there were about 2000 people stranded on the roads in that torturous weather. All the shops are closed as well and all the ATMs were out of cash. Just like in Die hard 4  or any of those action movies when the networks are totally compromised. Amidst this, I met a desi guy who was very keen on getting back to Glasgow and asked if I was ready to split a taxi with him. It would come upto 40 quid per head and so I asked him to find some more people to pool in. Meanwhile, surprisingly enough the people were no getting restless and were patiently waiting hurling a few curses in between. It was about an hour and a half before they decided to resume the bus services from outside the station.

Meanwhile, as me and the desi guy were discussing on the taxi scenario, a South Indian uncle overheard us and said he too wanted to hop on, but the only problem was he had 4 other people with him, with 2 "half-tickets", just like he described. Most of the taxis were not running as well and so while the desi guy was now trying to a hire a 7 seater, the uncle was like, we can put the kids on our laps and somehow go. What an Idea Sirji. But the only problem was there were no Ambassadors here and it was not India, and more than that uncle didn't even have a license with him. He was surely someone who had come to visit his son or daughter here and this was evident from his formal pant upto his chest, spanking new white Nike running shoes and a monkey cap worn like a skully. Meanwhile, a black guy wearing a typical NY cap and ultra low waist jeans and holding his belt buckle with his right hand comes up to me and says "Ma maaan, cudch aa hop on as well?" I directed him to the event coordinator, desi guy.

Finally I saw a bus taking a slow turn and told these guys that I'll probably go by bus itself. But the problem was about 60 odd seats were up for grabs and there were about 2k people fighting for it. Some wise Samaritan requested everyone to let people with kids board first and then the oldies. Luckily there weren't much of them and I somehow muscled my way into the bus, elbowing a couple of drunks on the way.

The bus finally took off and I reached home about 3 hours later. The winds were really affecting the balance of the bus and a 1 hr journey turned into a 2.5 hr one. This incident just showed one thing that there was more emphasis on processes and protocols rather than taking action. If the personnel had actually invested more efforts in getting the transportation services running rather than just asking people to calm down, this would have been much better. Its been almost a week since this happened and the winds are still scoring a FCD for their consistency and show no signs of abating. 

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Conversation On A Bus

This incident happened last week when I was on the bus. It was a 30 minute journey which was spiced up by a couple of guys. With an honest confession to make, I didn't just over hear them talking, I was eavesdropping on them with my fake sleep expression.

Just to introduce the characters, the first one is a Gujju working in TCS and has been staying in UK for a couple of years now. The other guy is a typical Mallu, with looks and accent and is also working in TCS but has just landed in UK, probably less than a week old in this country. One common factor between them, apart from working in the same company is that they both are married.

When I actually started listening to them, the bus had stopped at a signal and there were two really hot policewomen and I mean naughty America hot, standing near the bus stop. While they both were drooling, both of them wanted to show that they were Gandhi's grand grand love children.

Gujju - "You see, in this country you can't understand 3 Ws i.e Work, Wages and Women. If you try to do so, you'll go mad."

Mallu - "Ha Ha Ha. That's a good jocke."

After some boring chatter about their ancestors, they move onto some work related stuff.

Gujju - "If TCS had billed that client $8 instead of $7, then they could have had a million more in profits. If I was in charge of it, I would have billed them at least $10."

Mallu - "I know, I too feel so many times. These peeepaul have no brains at all."

Huh. Like the people in the higher management are plain dumb and have no idea of what they are doing.

Mallu - "You know what, whenever someone asks my wife, what I'm doing, she'll always say that I'm busy with my first wife. Ha Ha Ha. She calls my laptop as my 1st wife."

Right with that lame joke out of the way, they move onto some wife related stuff. Something spicy coming up as to where they keep the leather gear? Hmmm...Guess not.

Gujju - " My wife says she gets bored here. Now that your wife has also come, they both can meet everyday and spend some time. They shouldn't go to work here, else they can start earning more than us and will not show us any respect."

Mallu - "Ya Ya, thats very true. I'll get her to your house this weekend. Let our wives get along. We can take them out to some Indian restaurant once in a while and that should be enough to keep them happy."

Gujju - "Oh ya, after all we have come here to save money. I know a few cheap restaurants. You take your wife only there, k."

So much for women empowerment and equality. Guess some things never change wherever you go and whatever you do. Before the conversation could continue, they both got down at their stop.

Even though it was a nice timepass to listen to those narrow minded blokes, its a pity that some people are still so rigid and boxed up in their thinking. Saving is always good but one has to be a bit open minded to explore new things. Trying to keep their better halves at check at the time will only make their lives a bit more bitter.

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The Cricket Season Begins

The so called summer has finally arrived. Nothing to go bonkers about but it is relatively warmer and sun stays up a bit more longer to catch a glimpse of the drunk teenage girls with low necklines trying to fit into shorts atleast two sizes smaller. The only upside is that fake tan season is over and everyone is fortunate to not catch a glimpse of the cheap spray tan dripping from the legs. Oh wait !!!! Did I mention about the beer. Its also time to get some lager or ale sloshing in your tummies.

Among all of these, the cricket season has started again. Strathclyde has got off to a good start this season and I hope they take it 1 step further this time. I on the other hand, was itching to pick up some English Willow and start playing those Kallis like drives, Uthappa like reverse sweeps and McCullum like scoops. I know I know, I have been bragging quite a bit but I'm also being honest in saying that I'm really not looking forward to getting out LBW as a result of my poor footwork.

Polloc is an awesome club to play cricket with a wonderful turf wicket right in the middle of a national park, the entrance to which reminds me so much of Orange county in Coorg. The first couple of practice sessions were quite painful. Got hit on my thighs a couple of times as a result of my bad footwork and more importantly the ಕೊಬ್ಬು of not wearing thigh pads. The worst of the lot was when I got hit on my chin taking a high catch as a result of not wearing Ramesh Powar like goggles. Damn I missed the Karbon Kamaal Katch award!! 30ml of blood, a long wait in the hospital and a couple of stitches later I was back on the field again.

For some reason there is new found sweet spot in my bowling. Guess people who have played with me know my weakness of bowling down the leg side just like Agarkar bowls short balls wide outside the off stump. But now suddenly I've started to bowl a lot of bouncers and out swingers. I know its all a fluke but I just wana see how long it lasts. Oh wait, as a result of this luck/talent/ಗೆರೆ or whatever you can call it, I've got a look in for a cup match tomorrow.

Hope to crack a few 6s or atleast bowl a few toe crushers. Aaaah...Just being a blabbering optimist now. Frankly speaking, just hope I don't have to get stitched up yet again !!!

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Osama, Obama And The Fake Story

Its been a week since the news broke out and it just didn't sound right from the beginning. Osama apparently being killed in Pakistan about a mile away from PMA? Well I'm not surprised that he was in Pakistan or was so close to the army's hut. If at all Osama was actually killed there, he wouldn't have chosen that place to hide, assuming that Pakistan is innocent(which is not true) and even if he was actually killed and buried at sea, the nearest sea from Abbotabad is about 1600 kms away.  So the US wouldn't have taken that much pain in burying a terrorist who so called masterminded 9/11.

Well its no more a secret that 9/11 was an inside job and that Osama was actually a Frankenstein monster created by US themselves to combat Russia. So 10 years later, after killing about 600,000 people and spending about $1.2 billion and of course seizing countless oil wells in Iraq, was it all worth it? Uncle Sam will surely talk about the war against terrorism and saving people just like the politicians back home talk about good roads, electricity and subsidized groceries. In both the cases, its a political agenda and a lame last resort to gain votes which invariably does the trick every time. How cool is that? Guess many of us would wish that the same marketing strategies or the same Java or C++ code works for all the projects. Yet people say, running the country is such a difficult job. After Obama's stand up act, check out this parody video which has every possibility of becoming true in the near future.

I honestly believe that the US leaked a photo about Osama's death on the day the news broke out. People were soon to spot the bad photoshop and thus what Obama claimed the pic to be of a "graphical nature" is actually "graphics going wrong". The same happened when the videos of 9/11 came out and its a pity that they haven't learnt their lesson even after a decade. Surely they should have hired a software engineer from Bengaluru to do it. Just goes to show that the US really cannot survive without outsourcing. The home grown talent actually sucks in a big way.

There are numerous loopholes in the official story. The world's most wanted person was unarmed and the US navy seals shot at him in pretext of self defense. So what was Osama threatening them with? Body odour? If at all Osama was actually killed, I'm so sure the videos and photographs of that would have been released to the world media and Sam would have gone on and on about it for decades to come.

I do feel that Osama was dead long back and yes there was a military operation in Abbotabad and that was just to cook up this story and all the people in the house were killed to tie up the lose ends. The reason this mission took place during this time of the year was to help Obama become 1 more term richer.

P.S - Jai Veerappan. Poor guy's story too ended with similar controversies.

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Of Teas And Pregnant Women

Its been a while since I blabbered about whats happening in my personal life. To start off, the last month or so has been great. Filled with lots of good news and being showered with a lot of love. But more about that some other time.

My current job actually involves a lot of things that I never thought I will do. I wake up in the morning and travel about 2 hours in the morning to the capital to reach my workplace. The MegaBus service totally sucks and honestly speaking, Rajahamsa and even Mysore Mallige buses back home are way more comfortable. I try to get some sleep but get woken up by some moron coughing behind me or a hungover driver driving into the potholes. 

My work has been revolving totally around 2 entities, namely teas and pregnant women. I love teas, so thats one part taken care of. With due respect to pregnant women, I'm totally out of my comfort zone interacting with them. Its actually way too funny when I end up giving them tips on breast feeding, baby care and a lot more. Many a times I experience those real LOL moments. Guess lots of people in P&G also do the same. The past few weeks have been really hectic and have been working on lots of things. There is so much fun in learning new things and actually putting them into action where you can see tangible results. 

I have been trying out lots of experiments using social media and glad to have a lady boss who thinks on the same lines. The last 3 days have been very hectic and tiring as I was actively involved in a show. Really waiting for the next weekend where I can go back to my usual lazy self, doing those 12-hour sleeping shifts. Aaaah, the smell of beer beckons. Guess these nice thoughts are enough to get me through this week. Oh crap, its getting late. I'm off to my picnic, but havta travel 2 hours for that now!!!

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