House Hunting - London

I have just realized that this is going to be my last post from the land of the Scotch. The fact that these are the slog overs hasn't really sunk in. Speaking if which, I should really start my packing. Have been procrastinating about it for quite a few days now. I still remember the day I was woken up by a call from my future employer offering me a job. Well, in another week's time I should refer to them as my current employer. OK, enough of the unwanted blabber.

A couple of friends had told me their stories about finding a house in London, some taking weeks and some even months. Against all those words of wisdom, I booked an overnight bus to London last week and hoped my stay in London wouldn't last for more than 2 days. I hate bus journeys as I always end up with with a bad back and a sore neck along at the end of a sleepless night. Just when I thought my frequent travel from Glasgow to Edinburgh had seasoned me for this ultimate test, I didn't take much time to realize that I had overestimated by abilities. 

Turned my lappy on and watched a movie called as Buried. The whole movie is shot inside a coffin and as if the seats and the cramped space weren't making me feel claustrophobic enough, the movie surely pushed it. Its almost 2 AM and the driver has made a routine stop. An old lady sitting right behind me starts fiddling with a highly noisy packet of crisps. She finally opens it and slowly takes a bite of one of those crispy stuffs. And this happens over and over again for about half an hour. The high pitched crunchy sound has already irritated me to the core. I somehow try to go back to sleep and have already started dreaming about all possible torture movies and with the old lady playing an important role in all of them. Damnnnnn.

Its almost 4AM now and I realize that the people sitting in front of me haven't switched their lights off. I peep and see two hot girls busy reading and engrossed in some magazine. A closer look reveals that the magazine is some kind of kinky sex magazine full of BDSM stuff. Well I can surely understand people having a fetish for it but I couldn't imagine that happening throughout the night and that too in a bus where all you can hear are variety of snores and disgusting farts. Oh crap, can't even open the windows here.

I finally reach London and it feels worse than a bad hangover. I head off to view a few places. By afternoon I've already started pitying some of the places that I've seen. Some of the studios are hardly 8 X 10 and everything including a bed, kitchen and a bathroom are cramped into that space. I'm in no way trying to act cheap but all these places cost around 700 quid a month excluding bills and taxes. I have no idea why people don't give a shit about the place where you shit in this country. Many houses have shared bathrooms and some of the private ones make the shit retract itself into your body.

The story continues into the second day and I finally find a house with a decent sized living room and a bedroom and a private bathroom with a separate kitchen. But the problem is, its unfurnished but then again after the places I've seen for the past 2 days, this house feels like a luxury suite. With just about 6 months to go for me to enter a new phase in my life, I could see this place working for us in the long term. Even though its a bit hot on my wallet, I can surely look beyond that. Paid the holding deposit and now its just some formalities to get over with.

P.S : I'm surely going to miss Glasgow and the whole of Scotland but just like Arny says, "I'll be back".

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Movie Reviews - Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

Its been a while since I wrote a review for a Bollywood movie. But inspite of the thunder and lightning here in Glasgow today, I went out for Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara and guess the name and message of the movie itself deserved a review.

In a simple sense, the movie had traces of Dil Chahta Hai but definitely filled with loads of fresh ideas and tomatoes. It sure is a desi version of the Hangover but totally unlike it, so I guess its safe to say that the movie has found a sweet spot between DCH and Hangover. But when you think of it, its actually hard to imagine such a combination.

The movie is all about 3 friends and a 3 week long bachelors' party in Spain. Its filled with the usual fun and games with expected fights and "hug and make up" between friends. I personally felt that Farhan Akhtar's acting was the best of the lot and Kat looks her glamorous best in the movie. But a special mention has to go out to the mind boggling camera work and the selection of locations. These are the two things that add a whole new dimension to the movie.

I wonder why nobody had thought of Spain earlier. Its always Amsterdam or London or handful of other European destinations usually. Ever since my dissertation on product placements, I watch movies from a different perspective. Its usually quite easy to spot those blatant placements in Hollywood movies but ZNMD scores well here also. Hrithik has done justice endorsing John Players. If JP hasn't already started a special ZNMD range, then they are surely missing out on a trick.

Along with John Players, Mountain Dew has been forced into a couple of scenes. But I guess its a safe pardon when you consider the freebies or financial support a brand provides a movie. Abhay Deol's character could have probably been played by any actor, so nothing special there but he actually holds the other characters together. 

The 3 adventure sports chosen for the movie are perfect and the final one places the icing on the cake even though the last scene is the only scene that has been made very "filmy".  Bhag D.K. Bose would have been a tailor made song for this scene. The movie gets a negative mark for using a stunt woman who doesn't resemble Kat at all. For some reason I feel that Farhan actually performed his own stunts with sky diving. 

The soundtracks are brilliant so some new ear worms for me. I would totally recommend this movie to anyone who wants to enjoy a feel good bollywood movie without much of unwanted masala.

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Sreesanth Upset About His Name "Appam Chutiya" Not Used As A Song #FakingNews

It started with Kaminey, Saale and the baton is currently with Bose D.K. Going by this trend, the next logical word has to be Gandu. Oh wait, there is already a movie by this name expected to release this year. 

If the same algorithm is applied to Kannada movies, we can can expect the trend to start with atleast Boli Maga. Thinking about it now I realize that all the major flavorsome words have already been used by our very own Sai Kumar, ShivRaj Kumar, Upendra and co in their movies but none of them have used them in any of the songs like their big brother Bollywood has done.

Coming to the main story of the day, our very own Sreesanth has burst out in flames after cheta Priyadarshan declined his offer to include Sreesanth's name in one of the songs for his next flick. It was a regular Monday morning and Sreesanth had applied a good load of coconut oil and headed off into the woods to dispose some natural waste. As he was busy polishing off his duties while listening to Bhag D.K Bose on his iPod, Sreesanth got this "Eureka" like idea to  cast his name in a movie song. 

He kissed his chains, calmed himself until everything dried out and held his chest upright and started his run up. Only this time, he wasn't put away but a batsman but was so by Priyadarshan's watchman. The watchman even called the nearest asylum to book a case of an eloping patient after seeing Sreesanth's orange hair and Jogi like appearance. Sreesanth finally had to do his jig and crate a tantrum by slamming the ground and throwing mud in the air to convince him that he was infact the cricketer Sreesanth.

After all of this unscripted drama, cricketer Sreesanth finally met Priyadarshan and told him about his "Eureka" idea. He explained how the fake IPL player christened him with the name "Appam Chutiya" and how that name can finally be made to sound nice. Sree had also thought about the lyrics of the song and said it goes something like this.

" Take me to the cleaners,

   Whack me all over the park,

   Slap me baby one more time,

   Kuch bhi karo, main phir bhi hoon Appam Chutiya"  

Priyadarshan couldn't help but remind Sree what Neha Dhupiya had said long back "In India, only sex and SRK sell." Pri added one more S to it saying, "In India, only sex, SRK and Samskruta sell. If at all I want the mallu effect in my movies, I'll be more than happy to cast the pride of Kerala, Shakeela and not you". 

Sree was visibly very upset with this and he finally did a booty shake to show his disappointment. As a last resort, he has decided to prove to the MTV guys that he is a true roadie and hence approached them with a new idea for the next season of Roadies, after all even the kitchen sink wasn't good enough to increase the TRPs. Sree's proposal mainly involves replacing Raghu with himself in both auditions and the show to bring the "unpredictability" factor back into the show.

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