The Story Of 3 Knots - Part 3

I had barely caught 40 winks when I heard some knocking at the door. To my surprise, it was the bride who woke me up. We walked around the venue to find that flower arrangements were extremely beautiful. I bid adieu to her and went back into the room but hardly anyone had woken up.

I was apparently not supposed to have my breakfast and I wasn't in any mood to argue with anyone about it. So my roomies went out to get some biscuits for me and also left me something so that I could "release it in peace" one last time as a bachelor.

I took more time than usual to get ready this time. Squeezing myself into the traditional attire was a different experience. Abstaining from desserts for a couple of months had helped in a way. A colleague of mine later described it as the "Prince of Persia attire". Yes, I guess I would prefer that name. After I got ready there were quite a few people in my room. The purohit came and started talking some nonsense.

They walked me to a small temple in the Choultry and RLG uncle was supposed to hold an umbrella for me as we walked. But in spite of numerous people telling him he wasn't doing it right, he made sure that he was completely protected from the sun while I wasn't. He still gets trolled about it even today. After some other people made me very uncomfortable there with some rituals, we went inside onto the dais. 

The purohit's assistants held a white cloth up to obstruct my vision and gave me a mixture of Cumin and rice. I asked him what the whole thing was all about and he said that upon releasing the cloth whoever manages to put these on the other person's head first gets to take control in the marriage. I asked him "What if we both do it at the same time?" He said " I've never seen that happening in my life"  to which I replied " It's going to happen today and you'll tell your grand kids about it ". After giving so much of a build up to the scene, I don't think I need to tell what happened next.

After uttering some gibberish to which the purohit himself didn't know the meaning, it was time for the 3 knots. Strangely enough, the photographer was the only person who knew the meaning behind the knots. One dedicates a knot each to Brahma, Vishnu and Maheshwara. Though being an atheist, I was finally happy to know the meaning . As I went in to tie the knots, I told all the ladies around me to stand back and not do the usual  ನನ್ದೆಲಿಡ್ಲಿ  while tying the ತಾಳಿ . While I was tying the knots, I could hear the words "Oh Sh*t, oh Sh*t....." and I knew exactly who was saying it. As I looked around after this, I could see waterfalls in pretty much every direction. I was extremely surprised to see so many people shedding tears but couldn't control smiling at the myriad of emotions around me .Yes, lame jokes again came to my rescue and my FIL was the only person supporting me.

I was supposed to show my wifu a star in broad daylight outside (note that sun doesn't count) and I just showed her the large bee hive over our heads. What followed next was the boring ceremony of holding a coconut underneath a milk bucket till the cows came home. Must say, some oldies were very excited to splash the milk all over our hands and clothes. Luckily Mr and Mrs Spoke helped us to wrap it up. After an extremely tasty lunch, it was the moment that movies, serials and ads love. The actual departing scene which didn't really see any tears but just seconds later all those emotions bursted out on either side.

What followed this was a long, hardly any words spoken in the car, journey back to Bangalore. This is one of the very few regrets I have of the whole event. I could have surely done better to cheer my wifu's mood during the journey but I just didn't. Sigh.

After getting back home, we both headed to Leela Palace for the ahem ahem consummation. It was funny to see relatives wishing us "All the best" before leaving. I still think of that incident and laugh. OK I'm not even that drunk to go into details about what happened thereafter. 

Its been wonderful 3 parts even for me. Must say, the brain stores some intricate details even without your knowledge. I realized that while writing these 3 parts and reminiscing the moments. Hopefully, I'll come back to read this again in 40 years' time when my wifu changes the wifi password to our wedding date. 

P.S - Its 10th February 

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The Story Of 3 Knots - Part 2

Yes, small broke a coconut right at my feet and I jumped to avoid its pieces. The camera man took advantage of this situation and with some basic loop effects, made me look as if I jumped thrice. Whatay!!  

There were lot of new faces but the face I really wanted to see was busy getting ready. I've never understood the concept of 10+ men in the same room as the groom to get him ready. I badly wanted some space alone after an incident late previous night. Have to say, I did spend a considerable amount of time in getting my trident pocket square right. My grandpa was actually super excited to see me in that attire and I still remember him sitting on the bed with a walking stick and talking to me in Dr.House style.

I went to meet the bride and did she look pretty or what!! She looked so much more beautiful than I ever imagined her to look in that dress. We smiled a lot at each other, looked into each others' eyes and just like that exchanged lots of words even before speaking the first word.

I wasn't really a fan of these wedding photographers until I met this Choudhary and totally became his fan within his first few snaps. But then again, one of my favourite pics from that day has to be this.

                                    

As we both walked onto the stage, I could already see a sea of people queuing up and that I when we both realized that its going to be a long night. There were some genuine smiles and wishes, there were some fake smiles, there were also some "I don't know who you are, I'm here just for some free food" faces. The worst of them all were a couple of them who actually said "I wanted to get you married to my friend's daughter of the same caste, but now its ok. Congrats!!" Aaah , the one day I felt like really slapping someone after along time. However, my MIL had already kept a couple of Red Bulls behind me and they helped me to avert the ugly situations.

There were quite a few incidents that tried to alter both our moods, but then again my terrible jokes came in handy yet again to make sure that both of us kept a smile on till midnight. Choudhary even made me get down on my knee and propose "just for the photos" . It was that or Photoshop and I went for the manlier option.

It was finally time to sit down and have dinner. The food was amazingly tasty but both of us couldn't eat much just because the gastric juices had already slept off. I found the concept of asking the bride to stay back in the Choultry even though her house is just 2 minutes from the place a bit silly. I orchestrated a perfect escape and as a reader, you're probably one of the very few people to know about it even today. 

Some pesky relatives also wanted to do some idiotic ritual at 1:00 in the morning and I metaphorically showed them the finger and went to sleep. Batha and Bujji were there to accompany me and I realized that it was 4:00 in the morning and I still hadn't slept. Not because of any wedding jitters but because of those damn Red Bulls. It surely had given my eyes some wings. The unsynchronized snoring of two people also didn't help the cause. Couple more hours to wake up for the D-Day and I was still awake. 

To be continued...

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The Story Of 3 Knots - Part 1

The knots here don't refer to the speed metric but more precisely the 3 knots of my wedding. Even though its been more than a year since it happened, its better late than never to pen the memories before I say hello to Alzheimer's.

I landed in India exactly a week before the wedding while my then future wifu was already at home looking after the arrangements. As expected, she was there at the airport and though still jet lagged, we drove directly to Mysore for Bujji's engagement. It all looked like a teaser before the main thing a week later.

The bachelor party was quite different. Different because amidst all the booze and nutritious greens, none of us were high. I would like to blame it on spending the night in front of a 10 foot high bonfire.

The day before the reception was the day when I witnessed a miracle at home. About 50 women gathered delivering cliched dialogues and the roof didn't come down. Must say, the Harishina(turmeric) day is one day that many women look forward to most after their wedding days. I'd never seen such excitement and glow in some of their faces all my life. Seriously, even a rave party wouldn't see such natural highs. And all of this just to paint a poor old groom bright yellow. Sometimes to such an extent that even the melanin inside the skin would be shitting in its pants.

I've always hated the concept of  elderly people touching your feet. I made that quite clear before the ceremony that I wouldn't want anyone to touch my feet while smearing turmeric. While some were considerate, some smothered me in turmeric and  some menopausal aunties still managed to cop a feel of my feet. Ugggghhh.

After making a lot of women happy by sacrificing myself, it took a good couple of hours to get rid of the first coat of yellow. Quite a few women folk kept insisting that the yellow on my face should be prominent till the wedding day and I was very close to turning into Ravi Teja from Vikramarkudu.

Suspecting this outcome of the ceremony, I had booked an appointment in the parlour on the same evening. From a hair cut , it turned into a long process of regaining my original colour back and finally the yellow was out of my system.

The next day was a big day and I travelled to my favourite city, Mysore for the reception. Upon entering the choultry, everyone in my family were overwhelmed with the welcome party and I stood there with a turban on my head, garland around my neck and one coconut heading right at me........to be continued

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