Sachin, Federer at Wimbledon #FakingNews

Looks like Wimbledon is back to its original charm with bad weather, first week upsets and star studded crowd. However, last week everyone's attention was drawn to this one of a kind meet between two legends namely Roger Federer and Sachin Tendulkar. It was a time when one GOAT met another GOAT on a lush green surface. GOAT here refers to Greatest Of All Times. While Sachin surely proclaimed that Roger knows a lot about cricket, what could they have possibly talked about for an hour. This is a PARODY of the possible conversation.

ST: Aila, Roger you were just fantastic. That looked like a easy win.

RF: Naah Sachin, every match is tough and you cant underestimate your opponent(the usual diplomatic, humble answer)

ST: I have been a great fan of your game and I really hope you win Wimbledon this time.

RF: Well, in that case you can do me a favor by square cutting Nadal. Hez staying at the Hilton, room 33(Giggle Giggle).

ST: I guess if you concentrate less on those Gillette ads, you'll surely not need my help.

RF: Pssst. Don't tell anyone. With the kind of form I'm currently in, my Gillette sponsorship is the only thing feeding me, my wife, my twins and my cow. 

RF: BTW, now that you have lost out on MRF, shall I fix you up with these guys?

ST: Actually I wouldn't mind it. I just sold my Ferrari and I'm even taking a loan to buy a new flat. I can surely do with some sponsorship.

ST: I too want some viral videos like yours. Would like to have a video in which I hit a six which will knock an Apple off Ambani's head.

RF: Anil or Nita? I would seriously recommend one of their sons. If something goes wrong, atleast some dead weight is put to rest.

ST: Ha Ha. We call it as "Dharti Pe Bhoj". I've actually tried doing it a couple of times but in vain.

RF: No wonder you ended up with a tennis elbow. You have to leave it to the experts like me :) (**Sarcasm**)

                    

It starts raining yet again in London.

ST: (Sensing the opportunity to change the topic) Typical London weather isn't it. Hope you slide through to the finals. 

RF: Hope I can put one more Wimbledon in my kitty. I can then concentrate on my retirement fund.  

RF: If I win this one, I'll stay back in London and cheer for you to get your 100th 100.

ST: Oh yeah. I really want to dedicate it to Sai Baba.

RF: Why don't you dedicate  it to me and I'll dedicate this Wimbledon win( or runner up tittle)  to you.

ST: RF, if you can get me a Gillette sponsorship then I'll hold my end of the deal. Frankly speaking, the odds of you still having the Gillette sponsorship is better than, ahem ahem....beating Nadal.

RF:(Hmmm.. Tit for Tat eh) Why don't you like my fan page on Facebook and write on my wall and we can discuss about it.

ST: Sure why not, follow me on Twitter and I'll DM you soon.

While this post was not intended to disrespect any of these legends, it was just my lame attempt at some parody. Its probably one of those things that sound better in your head than on paper. Just for the record, I so hope Sachin gets his 100th hundred and Roger equals Sampras's record of 7 Wimbledon titles this year.

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Yeddy, the Clown, the Comedian, (-) the CM

Staying overseas, I think its safe to say that the social networking sites have helped me to keep myself abreast with everything happening back home. Most of the times, a gentle glance at my Twitter stream is as good as reading newspaper headlines. Yes, a Twitter addiction actually helps. 

Amidst all the fast till death and cricket, the political drama has actually been quite amusing to follow. I've never been a fan about politics and would always have a grumpy face whenever my dad or grandpa tuned into news channels every hour. In fact, they should probably get smart phones and start tweeting.

The political drama in Karnataka is definitely more entertaining than any of the states. People might argue that TN has always been on top, but then again it features the same old star cast, with the same story line and with the same ending. It sure is too predictable. The reason why Karnataka produced a blockbuster this time is because of the awesome character of Yeddy. Ever since he was sworn in, we have seen more drama than a reality show with all possible twists. Makers like Raghu , Rajiv and co should surely hook up with Yeddy sometime for inspiration.

I still remember during his beginning days, Yeddy was actually urging people to stop drinking alcohol and instead start drinking milk. Well, that was how he actually justified the rise in milk prices. Imagine that situation in which a bunch of guys decide to go to their favorite hang out place or a friend's place to party and you have all the usual sides, but see people saying "maga 60 semi skimmed hako", to which the other guy would reply "lo, sukka hodibeda. Atleast fully skimmed hodi".

When Yeddy started spending more time claiming his strength in front of the governor  rather in front of his wife, it was clear to even a layman that his attempts were lame. It was clear that he was struggling to build a majority and instead of doing something about it, what does he do? He strips down and starts doing naked suryanamaskars on the banks of river Cauvery.  Just when you thought it can't get more hilarious than this, surprise surprise. Yeddy pulls another trick out of his hat.

This happened just last week when Yeddy wrote an open letter to HDK and published it in the newspapers. In simple words, the letter challenged HDK to swear infront on Lord Manjunatheshwara in Dharmasthala that there was truth behind his allegations. It so reminded me of school kids challenging each other using mother promise or father promise, only in this case it was "God Promise". Amidst all this drama, whenever you see Yeddy and his men, you'll always see them posing to the camera with a victory sign. I'm so sure atleast 90% of them don't even have an idea of what it is and when it is to be used.

With everything said an done, I really want Yeddy to stay put and entertain us with his antics day in day out. After all people like George W Bush and Yeddy are rare and one has to make the best use out of them. Comedians like these don't crop up every other day.

P.S - Hope to wake up tomorrow and see another "Yeddy" in my Twitter stream.

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A for Anna, B for Baba, C for Corruption

Over the last couple of months or so, it seems like everyone has developed a taste for the fight against corruption or thats what its been portrayed as. Suddenly, put-on accent, tattoos, piercings, smoking Rajini style, guzzling ten beers and still saying "I'm stable" and even going vegan aren't the cool things to do. While the fight for environment still seems to be the ever green trend, Google trends and social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook are quick to mirror that fact that everyone seems to be trying to act cool, by saying no to corruption.

Anna Hazare started it right after India won the WorldCup and planned it right in the gap before the start of IPL 4. Well I'm not going to talk about the credibility of his motives or actions as he looked like a nice guy who didn't look for any funding and had a clear set agenda. Fair enough. While his efforts were commendable, there were lots of others who were looking to use that incident as a springboard. One of them was Baba Ramdev. 

With the IPL 4 also ending, and with a confirmed fact that nobody is going to watch the Ind WI series, there was no doubt that it was the perfect time for Ramdev's to do a Poonam Pandey i.e grab attention.  Before I actually dwell into his recent attention seeking acts, let me just shed some light on what everyone knew about him till then. He was a dude who taught Yoga and as a result of which influenced a lot of people. As a result of this I was forced by my parents to to Kapalbhati and his other asanas which MS Word doesn't recognize. While it didn't last long enough, I still give him some brownie points for promoting the brand Yoga in India.

I had seen one of his shows where some people pick up the mikes and start talking about how Ramdev's Yoga changed their lives and all that crap. OK, that was his way of promoting the classes and shows and is still fair enough. For a guy who didn't want to get laid, this was probably his way of finding a release point. Next he went on the record, saying his yoga will cure cancer and AIDS and said that sex education should be replaced by yoga. As long as he taught Kama Sutra, I really didn't have any problem with that!!! Recently, he even said that homosexuals are sick people and should be sent to the hospitals for treatment. Somewhere in this statement I felt that he was trying to come out of the closet indirectly. For a guy who has hair which would cause envy to any woman, wore a sleeveless saree all the time and who openly said that he didn't want to sleep with a woman, that statement sure looked like an expression of jubilation while still hiding behind the hypocrite mask. I even got to know that he owns an island in Scotland. I so want to visit that place to see if there is any leather shop selling ahem..,ahem.., toys in his name!!!

He started off his fast by saying its going to last for about 14 hours. My granny still goes on day long fasts on some days to impress the god and the media hyped Ramdev so much for a 14 hour fast. Guess you can go on for more than that without any media attention if you have a bad hangover. The news channels like always were providing Ramdev's pulse rate as breaking news every minute. With due respect, who is really bothered about all of this? It was crystal clear that Ramdev's fast was more of a political charade and TRP for media than the fight against corruption. So his demand was to bring all the black money from swizz bank to India. OK, what next? I'm sure he would have wanted a piece of that cake as well with his current assets legally valued more than 1,100 crores.

With everything said and done he broke his fast day before yesterday and I'm sure will be ready to hog like a pig today. The moral of the story is don't bite off more than you can chew. I really don't think general public backed his movement and had any faith in him and his motives. Guess that was the difference between Anna and Baba. The former's thoughts were put into action by the public and the latter's put into action only by the political parties. On an objective level, guess it was a move by BJP to get back into power next time around just like Osama's fake killing to help Obama run for another term. Its high time people stopped believing all these babas and so called godmen.

P.S - Doesn't a fast till death, count as an attempt to commit suicide? In that case shouldn't that person be arrested immediately?

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Movie Reviews - Hangover 2

The last one week has been very weird in terms of my choice of watching movies. While a side of me was screaming "ನಾನು ಕನ್ನಡಿಗ " , the other was just exploring the unsung heroes of Sandalwood.  No doubt some of the movies were utter "shite" , but there were a couple of them which though were shot in a full on serious tone, made me LOL. If at all you want a taste of this, I would recommend watching Sai Kumar's Police Story I and II and Thriller Manju's Jackie Chan. I'm sure this post would prop up in Google searches after a few days, if someone typed "Jackie Chan's Police Story", and would get a kick on the backside for relevance. 

While most of us would actually find Sai Kumar's acting funny and entertaining, he is unmatched when it comes to dialogues. For a person to maintain the same level of intensity and passion on screen throughout the movie is actually commendable. Amidst all these movies and many more which were utter crap, I happened to watch Hangover-2.

Its one of those sequels that actually complement the original. The story line is very similar to the first part and for all entertaining reasons, the plot gets even more twisted. I'm not going to act like a spoilsport and reveal the story here but just going to graze through some of the highlights.

Bradley Cooper has done justice to his role along with Ed Helms playing the usual guy who has a secret affinity towards hookers and in this case, gets a bigger package than expected. If you love Zach Galifianakis, then you'll love him even more but then again I feel his role was a bit overshadowed by others in this part. Ken Jeong who plays Mr.Chow surprisingly has a lion's share of on-screen time considering his "tiny package" as its shown in the beginning of the movie.

No baby with shades this time and instead gets better with a pot smoking monkey. If at all you have little kids then please do take them to the movie as the'll get a whole new lesson on human anatomy , courtesy ladyboys of Thailand. This way, they can ask numerous doubts to their teachers. If at all the lady teachers are anything like we had in Sadvidya who even feel shy to talk about 9th std human reproduction system chapter, then the'll probably have a pretty tough time. If you are trying to hook up with a girl, then she'll probably see the movie as your attempt to take things a few steps higher on a single day and might not be the best option. Even though its a movie to be enjoyed with a bunch of guys, I'm sure you can enjoy it with your girlfriend as well.

On the whole I give it a 4/5 . Like always, the segment in the end showing all the pics is probably the icing on the cake. If they maintain the standards, the Hangover can well go upto parts 4 or 5 and still be grossly funny. In fact I hope it happens, just like the American Pie series.

P.S - I still feel that Zach Galifianakis was funnier in the movie Due Date.

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