Yeddy, the Clown, the Comedian, (-) the CM

Staying overseas, I think its safe to say that the social networking sites have helped me to keep myself abreast with everything happening back home. Most of the times, a gentle glance at my Twitter stream is as good as reading newspaper headlines. Yes, a Twitter addiction actually helps. 

Amidst all the fast till death and cricket, the political drama has actually been quite amusing to follow. I've never been a fan about politics and would always have a grumpy face whenever my dad or grandpa tuned into news channels every hour. In fact, they should probably get smart phones and start tweeting.

The political drama in Karnataka is definitely more entertaining than any of the states. People might argue that TN has always been on top, but then again it features the same old star cast, with the same story line and with the same ending. It sure is too predictable. The reason why Karnataka produced a blockbuster this time is because of the awesome character of Yeddy. Ever since he was sworn in, we have seen more drama than a reality show with all possible twists. Makers like Raghu , Rajiv and co should surely hook up with Yeddy sometime for inspiration.

I still remember during his beginning days, Yeddy was actually urging people to stop drinking alcohol and instead start drinking milk. Well, that was how he actually justified the rise in milk prices. Imagine that situation in which a bunch of guys decide to go to their favorite hang out place or a friend's place to party and you have all the usual sides, but see people saying "maga 60 semi skimmed hako", to which the other guy would reply "lo, sukka hodibeda. Atleast fully skimmed hodi".

When Yeddy started spending more time claiming his strength in front of the governor  rather in front of his wife, it was clear to even a layman that his attempts were lame. It was clear that he was struggling to build a majority and instead of doing something about it, what does he do? He strips down and starts doing naked suryanamaskars on the banks of river Cauvery.  Just when you thought it can't get more hilarious than this, surprise surprise. Yeddy pulls another trick out of his hat.

This happened just last week when Yeddy wrote an open letter to HDK and published it in the newspapers. In simple words, the letter challenged HDK to swear infront on Lord Manjunatheshwara in Dharmasthala that there was truth behind his allegations. It so reminded me of school kids challenging each other using mother promise or father promise, only in this case it was "God Promise". Amidst all this drama, whenever you see Yeddy and his men, you'll always see them posing to the camera with a victory sign. I'm so sure atleast 90% of them don't even have an idea of what it is and when it is to be used.

With everything said an done, I really want Yeddy to stay put and entertain us with his antics day in day out. After all people like George W Bush and Yeddy are rare and one has to make the best use out of them. Comedians like these don't crop up every other day.

P.S - Hope to wake up tomorrow and see another "Yeddy" in my Twitter stream.

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A Tie Maker #CWC2011

The infamous cricket World Cup has already begun and it will be a real sin from my side to not write about it. I could have probably controlled this temptation for a maximum of one more week but after yesterday's Ind vs Eng match in Bengaluru, I reached the tipping point. The satisfaction of writing this post is similar to that of holding it in for 5 hours on an uncomfortable bus journey after downing 4 pints and finally taking a leak in your own toilet, thus admiring the beauty of natural phenomenon.

After some really boring games at the #CWC2011, yesterday's game turned out to be one of the best games among all of the WorldCups. Not just because of the runs scored or the domino like batting collapse or the result of the game, but also because of the controversial UDRS. This match thoroughly emphasized the fact that cricket is a team game and just individual contributions aren't enough( I forbid Ravi Shastri from copying this line as its is copyrighted under my name). 

The top order from both the teams set up the match beautifully but the middle and the lower orders made sure that there were enough twists in the tale, ultimately ensuring that the end would sound like a story from one of the moral science books. Tendulkar was cautious to begin with but paced his innings in a classy manner to get his 47th ODI hundred, thus crawling close to that 50 mark. Strauss's innings was nothing short of brilliance as he made all the Indian bowlers beg for mercy. He got every bowler into his favorite position as he slowly and steadily, with the use of a lubricant did them where it hurts the most, thus disfiguring their figures.

More than 675 runs were scored for the loss of 18 wickets totally. The UDRS seems to be the most complicated system used to make things simpler, thus making the situation even more complicated. It is like giving a student tips on cracking an exam and giving him a book also on how to crack these tips but restricting him from using not more than 3 tips. If it looks like LBW, if the Hawkeye says it is LBW, then raise that crooked finger. I really couldn't get my head around that 2.5m clause in the rule. In that case, KP(Pietersen) who bats couple of feet outside the crease can never be judged out LBW if he is playing on his front foot. We shouldn't be surprised to see a "LBW factor" coming into play, based on the length of the batsman's stride, his height, weight, Zodiac sign, skin tone, sexual orientation, no of previous partners, no of followers on Twitter, and finally if the ball is actually hitting him in line and going on to hit the stumps.

While both teams deserved to win, they equally deserved to loose. No doubt, there were some nail biting, heart pounding and nerve crunching moments which made up for the fabulous game of cricket, but both teams walked out after breaking even. A tie at the end looked like a fitting result. I never thought I would say this, but Ravi Shastri's typical dialogue, "At the end of the day, cricket was the winner" actually is apt for this situation. But it surely wasn't when South Africa chased down 434 against Australia and definitely not when India won the T20 match against Pakistan in a bowl out. I surely missed watching this game in the stadium, as it would have easily gone down as one of those "I was there" moments.

P.S - Can someone please tell Yeddy that the victory symbol that he uses irrespective of the situation(even in a tied game) is not the same as \m/ .

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Fight or Flight Response

Imagine walking on the road late in the night and you happen to bump into a couple of drunks. As expected they start talking nonsense and start abusing you. You are alone and do not see any other soul nearby. Watcha gona do? You can either run away from there hoping that you'll not run into a similar situation or you can play the Rocky soundtrack in your head and throw a couple of punches at them. Don't worry the drunkards will have a higher probability of punching a tree than you, considering their balanced state.

The former response is called as flight and the latter is called as fight. The fight or flight response is common among animals and humans when they are under stress. If at all a deer is attacked by a lion, it runs and thus opts for flight. Rats tend to respond in a similar manner when attacked but throw a fight when they are cornered. We all have experienced these scenarios and generally speaking males tend to opt for fight and females tend to flee when confronted in certain situations.

Now lets apply this theory to our day to day lives. You have a manager who constantly criticizes you or overloads your schedule with unwanted or his share of work. What do you do? My solution would be to fight. When I mean fight, I'm not suggesting one to scream or abuse the manager let alone kicking him in the groin area. A fight here can be looked at channeling your aggression to get the work done and increase your productivity thus filtering out your anger. If one decides to flee in this situation by getting depressed or having those Monday morning blues throughout Monday and for the rest of the week, it not only undermines your potential but also makes you a bouncing board for your manager's self satisfying releases.

These reactions can have a resounding effect on a team. The attitude of one person in team can have a cascading effect on others. Back in the 1980s and 1990s, the Indian cricket team was known for playing cricket matches overseas just for the sake of formality. They had convinced themselves that they couldn't win a series overseas and would just go and play to help the BCCI make some money. But look at the situation now. There have been numerous records broken in the past few years and some of the senior players and even tailenders in the team have shown a lot of resilience. VVS Laxman's fighting spirit and classy knocks have made the team believe that they can win even after following on and even when they are 8 down. This is just one of the many examples that show how the responsive actions can impact the overall attitude of a team.

Not all the time does the fighting instinct help you. There are situations when the best option is to flee and not look back.  Yasi the cyclone that has lead to mass destruction in Australia, is a prime example. Whether it is the Yasi or Katrina or something as a big as the Tsunami, your best option is to flee.

We humans exhibit these kind of responses in numerous situations in our daily lives. While it all boils down to choosing flight or fight, what can cause more damage is the tendency to choose  the same option everytime. I guess Yeddy is a classic example of a guy opting to flee whenever he is under stress. He spent more time in the temples and donating millions of the tax payers' money to them when he was needed in the office. Now that his chair is became weak, he flew to the banks of a river to please the gods with his striptease.

P.S - Just a dozen more days to go, have to see which team will fight and eventually take the Udaan with the ICC cricket WorldCup.

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2010: The year that wasn't, was and never will be

Its that time of the year when everyone is either coming up with resolutions or trying their best to avoid them. Either way, they are bound to be unsuccessful. The best way to cope with this is to come up with a resolution a month or two before the D-day and blissfully break it on that day. This way, the countdown looks more like a countdown to break the shackles rather than to get bound by them.

2010 has actually been a very controversial year even if you exclude my sting operation to prove the eternal lust turned love between David Cameron and Nick Clegg.

The British media couldn't blame it on the direction and speed of the wind and the sound of vuvuzelas and had to stick to Green for their Worldcup miseries. Probably was the best year for the England cricket team. The nicotine patches had changed into purple and with successes in the T20 Worldcup and the Ashes, it was probably their best chance of stealing the thunder away from football. After Afridi's hunger for white balls, the immature spot-fixing trio proved that men are bad at "faking it".

Assange and his uncontrollable leaks not only made matters worse for Uncle Sam but helped various sanitary brands to plug the leaks. Really love some of the mirrors on which Wiki Leaks is hosted http://213.251.145.96/Mirrors.html. The #Barkhagate controversy was the Indian vesion of Wiki Leaks.

Until October, Kalmadi was just a regular bearded guy wearing running shoes with formal pants. The money laundering and CWG scams where he paid more money for a rented Z-grade equipment than for a A-grade new one launched him to a totally untouchable level. Not because he couldn't be touched but because he was hiding under Soniaji's saree. Inspite of delivering the most 'booooo'ed speech at the opening ceremony and also partnering with Shera to flounder a share of this and a share of that, the man's style remained impeccably simple with the same aforementioned attire. For a guy who had looted so much of the tax payers' money that he could actually buy Armani, Gucci, Hugo Boss and still have spare change, he chose to wear the same clothes as the masons and proved that he was a simpleton.

It was a year when Tendulkar turned 37 and hit the best form of his life (Right, like we haven't heard that before). While millions were bowing down to the little master's achievements, Arun Lal and Sanjay Manjrekar were busy discussing the fact that Sachin's backlift has reduced by 1.2cms over these years and he has gained 2 pounds over the last year which in turn has helped him to set new records. Arun Lal also claimed on air that he had presented this magic formula to Sachin on his birthday but honorably requested  his identity to be kept anonymous.

While the politicians in Karnataka were too busy playing polistrip poker, with the only twist being not taking off their clothes but of their most beloved politicians from the opposite party. As the whole world witnessed politicians showing off their bare chests in the assembly, none of them even bothered about the more boiling issues of the state. When a severe shortage of vegetables occurred at the end of the year, the state government started blaming the central government and vice versa with CM Yeddy's solution being to set the record for the most number of temples visited in a week, yet again. The act required him to abstain from all possible activities that involved his libido. But he seemed to listen to 50 Cent's candy shop a lot and couldn't get past the line "Ill melt in your mouth girl, not in your hand".

To round it all up. I wish everyone a very depressing, stale and a crappy new year. Hope I have motivated all of you to prove me wrong and perform miracles this year.

Would love to read any interesting 31st night experiences in the comments section below. My indulgence on Absinth has made me wonder whether the whole party was probably a hallucination or not.

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