The Highs and Lows of IPL

Its been 10 days since the 4th installment of the highly popular yet controversial IPL got underway. While there are a lot of cynics out there who claim that the IPL has everything but cricket, I beg to differ. The simple fact being, if it wasn't for cricket and the juicy T20 format, a concept like IPL would have never kicked off in the first place. While there is always a possibility of the side dishes overshadowing the flavors of the main course, it is impossible for anyone to savor only the sides and totally exclude the main course.

I have been wanting to write about this man for a long time. Hats off to Lalit Modi for the inception and execution of such a great idea. Frankly speaking, I was a bit doubtful about his ability to single handedly make it a success. But I developed great respect for Mr.Modi when he yet again single handedly shifted the IPL from India to South Africa under a month. Modi had his duly wise men to advise him but I guess a lot of other crabs in the BCCI couldn't stand him raising the bat with each edition of the IPL.

Of course there is a lot of commercialization and that is obviously expected as at the end of the day, its a business. Franchises have invested a lot of moolah and they intend to make profits out of it and if cricket is the way, then let be it. Lots of MNCs are doing the same with software professionals but nobody is complaining. Right!!! I'm a hardcore RCBian and I watch it only for the cricket and once in a way wouldn't mind seeing hot "talented"(yes, it takes a lot of hardwork and talent) girls shaking their booty but never the other way around. I honestly don't believe that anyone for that matter watches the IPL only for the cheerleaders. If people are so desperate to see some skin, I guess there are lots of other ways which yield more skin and bodily fluids per viewing minutes.

While the 3rd edition of IPL ended on a very controversial note, let us have a look whether there is any drastic improvement in the quality the event. For starters, the opening ceremony actually looked like one of those acts that you would probably have in your wedding. Hardly any known names or classy and memorable acts albeit SRK(who would have done it for free anyways). So there is something literally "cheap" about it. Moving on, Max has stuck to two dudes and an on field bimbo (cheap). The forte of studio guests include Sidhu, ArunLOL, Gavaskar (Jr) and Jayasuriya(pity). So there is the "cheap" factor once again. There are only 3 commentators per match(logistics and "cheap" factor). The TV channels are doing a wonderful job in not showing the empty stands and zooming in on handful of the artificially enthusiastic fans.

The BCCI actually did another "cheap" act by assuming that the WorldCup win would automatically fill up the stands and thus spent a meager amount on promoting the IPL. Not even once have I seen any of the team anthems or videos this time and I'm sure the hoardings and other outdoor advertising also has been limited. Chirayu Amin's dressing and attitude was like a humdinger for the quality of IPL. At the end of the day the only thing I can say is that Mr.Lalit Modi you are being missed dearly. We miss the class and style that you brought to the IPL. While I so want you to come back and take control, I know its not going to happen and I can only see the start of the IPL downfall.

P.S - Dear Vettori, please stop sending tailenders up the order as pinch hitters. Gone are those days during 1990s when Srinath was the trump card. Please get the batting order right. 

Tweet

Lights Camera Auction

After being riddled with numerous controversies ever since its last edition, the IPL players' auction finally took place in Bengaluru over the weekend. I was more eager to listen to Arun Lal's stupid comments than to actually watch the auction. The weekend sprung a lot of surprises with the media cashing in on the event more than anyone. Probably the auction got more coverage than any of the election results. A William Hill in India would have probably made millions over the weekend with an substantial number of farmer suicides.

To start off, the Bollywood bimbos were back showing off more booty than brains. One cant help but wonder if they even know the names of all the players in their team. Preity Zinta who has finally shelved her flab really needed to read the book "Auction rules for dummies". Somebody had to tell her that once a player has been bought, the bidding ends there and raising money and even her top after this wouldn't help her.

It was great to see Chennai retaining around 8 players from their original team thus emphasizing the fact that its a real team. RCB has a totally new look but then again to go through the phases of forming, storming, norming and performing will probably take atleast 1 edition of IPL. The funny thing is that all the teams have managed to find atleast one self destructor or suicide bomber for themselves. KKR has Brett Lee, RCB has Mohammad Kaif, KXIP has Piyush Chawla, DD has the stallion Ajit Agarkar, DC has Ishant Sharma, MI has Munaf Patel, CSK has S.Badrinath,  RR has Shaun Tait, PW has Ashish Nehra and Kochi has a brigade of suicide bombers with the likes of Jadeja, Sreesanth, R.P Singh,VVS and Vinay Kumar. These are the kind of players who can single handedly win the match for the opponents.

On the other hand there have been some great picks for the money paid for Davy Jacobs, V.D Merwe, KP, N.McCullum and Randiv. Most of these players will turn out to be the dark horses and it was nice to see that many uncapped international players were also in demand. The teams had done their research and were trying to form their teams based on some strategy. CSK for example, wanted to retain the old team as much as they could and RCB wanted to build a solid fielding unit and Kochi for that matter, looked like they wanted a team full of coconut pickers.

The best part about the auction was that the true quality of players came out. People have always been hypocritical and scared to play down the veterans even though deep down they also knew the hard reality. There was a time when Ganguly was a great player and ever since his weakness to the short ball was exposed, his decline started. For the kind of stubborn person he is, he refused to work on his weakness and was confident that his reputation was more than enough to continue his career. He probably wouldn't have been picked by any teams even in the first IPL if he hadn't been an icon player. Its high time that he put his pads down for good and grace us all with the good news of not becoming a commentator. I also felt that Lara should have opted out of the IPL. At his age, none of the teams would be interested in making an investment. It just reminded me of Schumacher making a return and failing terribly. 

I guess time will bring out the true colors of the teams and with the World Cup just around the corner, it promises to be a cricket feast for 3 months starting in mid February. Bring on the good stuff. As Mallya would say, "a small quarter for cricket, a great kick of mankind".

Tweet

2010: The year that wasn't, was and never will be

Its that time of the year when everyone is either coming up with resolutions or trying their best to avoid them. Either way, they are bound to be unsuccessful. The best way to cope with this is to come up with a resolution a month or two before the D-day and blissfully break it on that day. This way, the countdown looks more like a countdown to break the shackles rather than to get bound by them.

2010 has actually been a very controversial year even if you exclude my sting operation to prove the eternal lust turned love between David Cameron and Nick Clegg.

The British media couldn't blame it on the direction and speed of the wind and the sound of vuvuzelas and had to stick to Green for their Worldcup miseries. Probably was the best year for the England cricket team. The nicotine patches had changed into purple and with successes in the T20 Worldcup and the Ashes, it was probably their best chance of stealing the thunder away from football. After Afridi's hunger for white balls, the immature spot-fixing trio proved that men are bad at "faking it".

Assange and his uncontrollable leaks not only made matters worse for Uncle Sam but helped various sanitary brands to plug the leaks. Really love some of the mirrors on which Wiki Leaks is hosted http://213.251.145.96/Mirrors.html. The #Barkhagate controversy was the Indian vesion of Wiki Leaks.

Until October, Kalmadi was just a regular bearded guy wearing running shoes with formal pants. The money laundering and CWG scams where he paid more money for a rented Z-grade equipment than for a A-grade new one launched him to a totally untouchable level. Not because he couldn't be touched but because he was hiding under Soniaji's saree. Inspite of delivering the most 'booooo'ed speech at the opening ceremony and also partnering with Shera to flounder a share of this and a share of that, the man's style remained impeccably simple with the same aforementioned attire. For a guy who had looted so much of the tax payers' money that he could actually buy Armani, Gucci, Hugo Boss and still have spare change, he chose to wear the same clothes as the masons and proved that he was a simpleton.

It was a year when Tendulkar turned 37 and hit the best form of his life (Right, like we haven't heard that before). While millions were bowing down to the little master's achievements, Arun Lal and Sanjay Manjrekar were busy discussing the fact that Sachin's backlift has reduced by 1.2cms over these years and he has gained 2 pounds over the last year which in turn has helped him to set new records. Arun Lal also claimed on air that he had presented this magic formula to Sachin on his birthday but honorably requested  his identity to be kept anonymous.

While the politicians in Karnataka were too busy playing polistrip poker, with the only twist being not taking off their clothes but of their most beloved politicians from the opposite party. As the whole world witnessed politicians showing off their bare chests in the assembly, none of them even bothered about the more boiling issues of the state. When a severe shortage of vegetables occurred at the end of the year, the state government started blaming the central government and vice versa with CM Yeddy's solution being to set the record for the most number of temples visited in a week, yet again. The act required him to abstain from all possible activities that involved his libido. But he seemed to listen to 50 Cent's candy shop a lot and couldn't get past the line "Ill melt in your mouth girl, not in your hand".

To round it all up. I wish everyone a very depressing, stale and a crappy new year. Hope I have motivated all of you to prove me wrong and perform miracles this year.

Would love to read any interesting 31st night experiences in the comments section below. My indulgence on Absinth has made me wonder whether the whole party was probably a hallucination or not.

Tweet