Journey from GMT + 1:00 to GMT + 5:30

I woke up at around 9:00AM on Monday which was pretty early for my standards. It was a very gloomy day and as I got ready to do some last minute packing, I ended up packing the dude's brush instead of mine. Soon I was reminded of the fact that my toiletries kit contained this foreign object and had to return it to him before we ended up sharing germs. I reached the airport well before time and I had a big bag to check in followed by a small cabin bag and a laptop bag. One of those average looking females employed by Emirates were stubborn on not letting me carry 2 bags inside their so called ultra modern flight. My flirting skills too didn't help me much and I realized that those days were long gone and I was getting old. I had to make some adjustments urgently and ended up somehow shoving my laptop bag into the check-in bag. I luckily took out the camera from the bag, just in case (my bad memory came good on those one off occasions).

It was a 7 hour journey to Dubai and I was travelling alone. Luckily I met my old friend Jack Daniels on the way and he kept me entertained for the rest of the journey. He in fact entertained me so much that I actually don't remember anything after the first 20 minutes of Iron man 2. But after this, I decided to give a call to my old buddy, Budweiser and little did I know that him and Jack were not on good terms. Bud got a bit too jealous of Jack and it ended up in me visiting the 2 feet by 2 feet toilet many times. None of these 2 guys helped me in getting any sleep and I tried to kill time by peeking into my neighbour's screen. By the time I realized that I was watching a boring family drama, it was time to land. 

The huge Dubai airport was very crowded and I was standing in the queue for my security check. I tried to catch a glimpse of a guy few feet in front of me who looked the owner of CSK. After somehow convincing myself that it was not him, I looked back to see the almost all the stars of CSK at the back of the line. Even though all of them were wearing those flashy yellow t-shirts, Raina stood out in the crowd. He was not only wearing a purple t-shirt on top of the yellow one but also had flip flops which were of fluorescent green and yellow in color. There was no doubt that Raina had become the adopted son of Chennai. As I finished my security check, I was waiting for these players to finish theirs, so that I could say "ssssup". Surprisingly none of these players were in demand and people hardly took notice of them. All of these players were in a hurry and I caught hold of the adopted son for a snap. MSD looked as cool as ever, and his pretty wife started nagging that it was getting late as soon as me and another guy caught him for a snap. I did a dumb mistake of calling Mr.Cricket as David, and the guy got very irritated and left and thus I missed a golden opportunity. Vijay not only had a spring in his stride while walking but also looked like a guy having a spring in his neck. It was very easy to see that he was still on a high after so many awards and would have probably started flying all over the airport if not for the ever smiling Balaji trying to hold him to ground level. All of these guys were moving around in pairs and holding hands. Dhoni with his obvious  price catch buying some X-Box games, Raina with Tyagi (who was as tall as Venkatesh Prasad), feeling Vijay with smiling Balaji and Jakati with the world cup hero Joginder. As I hopped from store to store to do some duty free shopping, I spotted Badrinath buying toys for someone. The guy was friendly to talk to and had a small chat with him. 

As I boarded my next flight to Bengaluru, It reminded me of a NTSE lecturer who taught Geography ( it would be great if someone reminded me his name). All those hours that were gained last year while travelling to Glasgow, I started to lose them now as I was making my way back. One of the best parts about the journey was I got to see the gradual changes in the color over the horizon that take place during a sunrise. I was lucky enough to see this phenomenon which can be observed at only that altitude. Even though I took a lot of pics of this nature's beauty, none of them did any justice to it and unfortunately I did not have a SLR to make it look better than it was. 

It was nice to hear the chirping of birds inside the Bengaluru airport and I was finally happy to experience some really warm weather. I woke up very early today at 6:00AM and thought I'll kill some time till the breakfast gets ready. I now head off to stuff my tummy with some ರೊಟ್ಟಿ and ಎಣ್ಣೆಗಾಯಿ as I leave this post in all you readers' mercy.

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Bengaluru Beckons

Its been more than a year since I left India and very soon I'l make my way back to where it all began. With just over 12 hours to go for my flight, this will probably be my last post for sometime. I'm constantly following the weather in Bengaluru and hoping to land in the airport without having to walk in knee deep water. It has started to get very chilly here and guess will be a nice change of weather.

I'm going to miss the Scottish accent and the Scottish food for sometime, and will definitely miss seeing drunkards singing and cursing on the road after any Celtic/Rangers match. But then again what the hell, I'l be going to a place where I can speak a lot of ಕನ್ನಡ and feast on lots of delicious dishes. The kitchen department in my house is already making all the necessary arrangements and I can't wait to eat some ಮುದ್ಹೆ. Haze, J-Cubez, Couch, Empire, Al-Bek, BBQ Nation are some of my primary targets along with the psycho who sells ಬಜ್ಜಿ near my house. I'm all excited about meeting the people who have tolerated me for these many years and cant wait to get pampered over the next month. If at all things do not go as planned, or go better than expected and if I'm sober, I'l be posting very soon. Till then, अलविदा  to Glasgow and to all my readers.

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Mind Molestation

I have been reading a lot of different versions of the abbreviated term CWG and all of them are right in their own way. I can totally understand the outrage against the organizers, the planning committee and the country on the whole. The British media has come out strongly exposing the lapse in preparations and basic infrastructure. The Delhi CWG mess up has currently taken up the pole position in the top stories listed on even the BBC website. I can imagine news channels back home like Times Now, Headlines Today and the most disgusting of them all, TV9 covering this issue for at least 23 hours in a day. To be frank this is the kind of news that the media tends to hunt for like a bloodhound. But when such a news is actually served on a platter with an option to "eat all you want", the situation looks more messed up than it actually is. I still remember a day when TV9 ran the news of a stray dog biting a man for the whole day. Can it get more lame than that? Doesn't it raise the question of credibility and the quality of a news channel? Or does it also imply that we derive pleasure in not only watching something as worthless as this but also in bitching about it being played over and over and over with a caption of breaking news?

The media has always been criticized for being irresponsible. Lets face the facts. One needs money to run a channel or newspaper and the funding for which is provided by the wealthy politicians, celebrities and businessmen. At the end of the day, media ends up being run by money. So people with money have the power to manipulate the news that comes out. So, if one channel run by political party  X says that a dog bit a man, its rival channel run by a  political party Y says that the man bit the dog, speaking of which Man Bites Dog(1992) is an amazing movie, not for the fainthearted though. So the media is actually used to boost their PR activities using the news as a medium. So to summarize, the grief of the common man is used as a medium to boost a party's image in an intention to ultimately get on the good books of the common man. To quote another such example, the recent attempt to burn Quran by a Pastor in Florida was classic example of a highly renowned channel like CNN lowering its standards. If such an incident had not been covered at all, it would have not encouraged any unwanted publicity. Things people do to be on TV...Uffff. If anyone from any of the famous news channels are reading this, I'm planning to use the pages of Mein Kamph as toilet paper next week. Would surely appreciate some airtime but I have to do this before zee Germans get here. The quality of news has stooped so low that news channels are nowadays running special programmes on all the different reality shows in that country, giving viewers of the summary of events that happened in that week. Very soon we might even see special news reports summarizing the attire and the hot quotient of the newsreaders inviting viewers to vote for their favorite one.

Have you ever watched something on a news channel for an hour and felt like you wasted that whole hour? Well, its called as mind molestation and in the extreme cases might lead to mind "the act of having sex"ing. The media thrives on its ability to carry out such hideous crimes, show the grief of the public after molesting them and gets to walk away with a rise in TRP and revenue. Why wouldn't someone want to get involved in such a business? After all you will be the puppet master, but in this case you get an added added advantage of having control over the mental state of your puppets. Ultimately, we end up eating whatever is fed by media and our thinking will be influenced by the channels that we favor. Gone are those days of having old men and fully covered women reading out news. I guess the only upside of this is one gets to see young female newsreaders with provoking necklines and their insatiable thirst to talk about bikini clad Bollywood heroines making you fantasize about some girl on girl action. You have been mind molested yet again. 

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365 days of life on an island - part 1

If you are caught off guard by time and do not notice the duration of the events happening around you, its time to take a look down the memory lane. People usually refer to this phenomenon as time flying even though I feel it should be referred to as time running. But then again, its me who is saying; who gives a damn? Its been a year so soon and I still remember all those parties just before I left India  even though I was almost knocked out in all of them. This post is dedicated to all those who have been a part of my life over the past 365 days. 

Day 1: In spite of gulping down 3 pegs of Red Label and 2 cans of Carling, I couldn't sleep on the plane and after watching a couple of movies, it was time to land and pass through numerous checks at Terminal 5 in Heathrow. I practically didn't realize that I had passed through immigration even after 3 days. The next scene resembled a movie in which I was running to gate 1 to catch my flight to Glasgow and made it with just under a minute left to close the doors. I sat down still gasping for breath and I heard the pilot saying "This flight has been delayed for an hour due to technical difficulties. Sorry for the inconvenience". Oh crappppppppp. Nevertheless, I finally reached Glasgow and was greeted with rain. Little that I realize that it was a sign of things to come.

Day 5: First day in Strathclyde and attending a class after more than a year. Felt great to see a lot of new faces. Little did I know that there were some unique characters and one very irritating homo sapien in there. I still pity the dude who realized this only recently. 

Day 6: After days and days of house hunting, finally moved into a house and actually a very beautiful house. I was more excited about the KFC and the McD in front of my house than civic amenities.

Day 15: All the emergency supplies had got exhausted and it was time to get down to some real cooking. But wait, it had got late to go to college and had to make a run to the class. Being a person who is always on time, I find it weird to have 100 odd eyes gazing at me as if I was tricked into confessing something like Tom Crusie  makes Jack Nicholson into blurting out the secret in the movie A Few Good Men(1992). However some do it on purpose for grabbing attention and the faking it girl managed to do it everyday to attract the attention of the opposite sex. Well that trick never worked and in the best case, repelled the male species away from her zone of existence.

Day 25: The leaves had started to wither away and the incessant rains had made commuting very discomforting. It literally used to rain everyday and the presence of strong winds not only made the life more difficult but brutally murdered my umbrellas. The deadlines for assignments had started approaching and it was time to slog day and night. Managed to call a few friends and family members that day and exhausted the credit on my calling card.

Day 85: I walked into the kitchen to make some breakfast and when I looked outside, I saw that the weather was very gloomy and it was raining as usual. No wait, there is something unusual about the rain and it looks white. Oh wowwww, it was the first time I had seen a snowfall and was very excited. I ran out out of the house bare footed to have some snow flakes on my tongue. After getting back to my senses, I realized that my feet had gone too cold and had to run back into the house. The next 2 days saw almost everyone posting pics about the first snowfall and it was a beautiful sight in the beginning.

Day 99: Back after a trip to London. Thanks to Mr & Mrs Spoke for the great hospitality and taking us students around in the city that houses murky water Thames. To quote a dialogue from one of my favorites movies, Snatch "Yes London. You know, fish, chips, cup of tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary-fucking-Poppins, London". Well I couldn't find a more apt description of the city even though I could add 1 more adjective, insanely expensive.

Day 102: It was happy new year time and I woke up from a bad hangover from the previous night's new year party. But then again, I didn't have any other better work to do and so went back to sleep to avoid the hangover. Being a person who always tries new remedies for hangover, I realized that sleeping again was not a remedy and instead a big mistake. I have tried everything from coffee, green tea, curd rice, banana milk shake, drinking litres of water, working out to all the desi remedies including a crazy thought of even jerking off (oh boy, it just feels like a bomb exploding in the head, please don't try it). But trust me none of them work and the only way to avoid hangover is "to stay drunk".

A new year calls for a new post. With some of my readers asking me to make my posts shorter, I'm taking their suggestions and ending this here. However, the story is just 1/3rd over and still a long way to go. I will try to complete it before I head back to India next week. Chronicles of the land of Kama Sutra and drunken revelations are some of the posts that you can look out for in the near future.

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Do you smell what I'm cooking?

Its been almost a year since I left India and boarded a very congested and uncomfortable British Airways flight to Glasgow. The anniversary special will be covered in a different post before I make a short trip back to  ನಮ್ಮ  ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು . My bags were packed with all the wanted an unwanted kitchen utensils and all possible cooking ingredients and other powders of different colors and smells. Even today, I recognize them only by their colors and not by the actual ingredients in them.

I still remember the hype that was given to cooking before I left. I was taught and made to execute some of the basic dishes as a test and failing in it only meant that I couldn't survive here. In fact a lot of hype has been given to cooking in our culture and potential brides are supposed to have this prerequisite or a so called qualification or competency listed on their CVs when the grooms come for a one on one (Well this "one on one" is actually done with the elders' supervision with everyone anxiously waiting for the outcome and is often the one that happens on the first visit and not on the first night :D). Even though it is now getting tempting to deviate from the topic, I shall pull myself back onto the right track. 

Survival of the fittest is probably the best phrase to use and one has to learn to cook or cook up a good story not to cook, either way has to end up cooking to survive in this open world. I have seen a lot of updates on FaceBook and on the prehistoric social networking site we all used to use called as Orkut, regarding updates by wives cooking dishes for their hubbies. Even though I totally respect the love and the sweetness behind those gestures, I have now realized that cooking is probably one of the most enjoyable and easiest things to do. I wouldn't want to sound like a person blowing his own trumpet but these are some of the dishes that I have involved in over the past year.

Vegetable Sambar

Rasam

ಕಾಲು ಸಾರು

Chilli Mushroom

Mushroom curry 

Chilli Paneer

Panner Butter Masala

Veg Dopiaza

Kadai Vegetables 

Puliyogre

Raajma 

Channa Batoora/Poori

Kofta

Dosa Chutney

Lime Rice

Upma

Jeera  Rice

Capsicum Rice

Egg Fried Rice

Numerous ಪಲ್ಲ್ಯ s involving all sorts of vegetables

Palak Paneer

Aloo Palak

Veg Biriyani

Egg Biriyani

Egg Curry

Pasta

Spaghetti

Chilli Chicken

Chicken Curry

Lamb Curry

Beef Curry

Beef Olathiyathu

Butter Chicken

Kadai Chicken

Red Chicken

Hyderabadi Chicken

Pudina Chicken

Coriander Chicken

Chicken Chops

Methi Chicken

Kheema balls curry

Chicken Biriyani (2 variations)

Lamb Biriyani

Fish Fry

Butter Chicken

I might have probably missed out on some but these are the ones that spring to my mind. Even though I used to get help from Silent while cooking some of the dishes, at the end of the day I turned out to be just fine. I feel cooking is a great stress buster as well and if at all you hate someone, call them home and serve them a dish with 10 chillies and when they run to the toilet, make sure you have not only removed the toilet paper but also the flush tank doesn't work. I can guarantee you that a revenge like this will be very smelly and I advise you to keep a room freshener by your side.

People who have eaten my dishes can second me on the fact that I'm really a very good cook. Even though I have cooked all of the ones mentioned previously, I call every one of my dishes as "Yummy dish". It is not only because it is yummy but also if it is not, it will still be yummy. For all those wannabe brides or newly married girls, cooking is actually easier than "faking it" in the bed and for all those who have already tried it , well you do know what I'm talking about. For all those cooking virgins, you have no idea what you are missing out on and I sincerely suggest you to take it up even if it is just as a hobby. From Gordon Ramsay to Sanjeev Kapoor and from vah-chef to the roadside chatwalas, men have always been the best chefs and if at all you want to prove your manhood to your wifes/girlfriends/boyfriends, try cooking them a tasty aromatic dish of your choice and let me know of its outcome :).

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Spot the fix contest

When cricket first started in the earlier part of the 1900s in England, it was one of the sports played with the sole intention of entertaining the royal family and especially the queen. I was listening to one of the talks by Harsha Bhogle where he mentioned that one such test match lasted for 14 days which ultimately ended in a draw. The only reason the match was stopped was because one of the teams had to board a ship back to their country and they couldn't afford to miss it as the next ship was almost a month later. The captain of this team was also heard saying that if they had got just 1 more day, they could have won the match.

Even though the 5 day test matches tested the players, the crowds needed something that was more entertaining and this gave birth to the ODIs which were initially played with 60 overs a side. When the world was trying to figure out a solution to the Y2K problem, some people saw a solution to their financial woes and to make some money through cricket. The cricketing fraternity was introduced to the term match fixing when one of the most respected cricketers of that time, Hansie Cronje confessed to succumbing to it. This incident not only exposed the true colors of some of our idols at that time, but also set the cat among the pigeons. I was impressed with the way the movie "99" was shot and it touches on topic mentioned.

With more and more people getting interested in spicy steamed up quickies, the pleasure of ODIs started to fade away and this gave birth to a high on energy and orgasmic format called as T20s. Lalit Modi and his merry men saw a way to combine this and Bollywood in order to make it even more glamorous and named it the IPL. After all, in India its only sex and SRK that sell (I feel that SRK here doesn't refer to Shiv Raj Kumar. Just cant imagine him on the street corners waiting to be picked up even though I can easily imagine the KKKKhan. I'm sure to have plucked some nerves here :P).  

Coming back to 2010, the world was exposed to the little known brother of match fixing i.e spot fixing. People figured out that match fixing not only leaves a lot of loose ends but also makes it look obvious. I recently read that the finals of the IPL this year too was fixed and the bookies stopped accepting bets for a Chennai win even when they were 4 wickets down before the 10th over with hardly a decent score on board. Sending Pollard down the order too makes  one speculate if it was true. I have been following the success of the rejuvenated England cricket team and this team looks like their best in a long time. Lord's has been a Mecca for cricket and it threatened to mask the purple patch of the England team towards the end of the summer. To be frank, even though Pakistan has produced some legends over the years, I have never been a fan of their team. The incessant appealing, numerous doping and match fixing controversies, the internal politics, the inability of the former cricketers turned commentators' to impress a point sitting in the commentary box and the blinding green color are some of the factors that have made me detest their cricketing spirit. Till recently, I had started to admire Mohammad Aamir's bowling and I really believed that a youngster of that age could really take Pakistan cricket to the next level. 

Even though I believe that the recent spot fixing scandal involving the Lord's test was just the tip of the ice berg and that it is wrong to assume that only Pakistan cricketers are corrupt, the fact is that they were caught red handed. The excuses used by them to get out of this mess will make even a kid who finds armpit farts funny to laugh at them. 

" I had kept the money to shop for my sister's wedding". 

"This is a set up". 

"The Indian bookies are to be blamed for this".

It really amuses me to see that they took almost 3 days to cook up such dumb excuses. If at all you wanted money to shop, why would you do it in the middle of a test match and why wouldn't you use something called as the ATM? How can you call it a set up when there is enough proof shown in the videos regarding every step leading to the fix? I have to commend Asif here as he made the no ball look like a genuine mistake and Aamir on the other hand showed his inexperience by bowling a foot long no ball. Guess the kid was too nervous about doing it or just wanted to be on a safer side. Asif not only looks like a seasoned fixing campaigner but looks like a man confident about getting away with it. I wouldn't deny that Indian bookies probably had a hand in all of this but its the bookie's job to feed you shit and it all depends whether you throw it out, or eat it, or put a cream topping on it and lick the plate inside out just the Pakistan trio did.

Just like Bob Woolmer's death during the world cup, I'm sure this controversy too is going to be brushed under the carpet. I'm really interested to know if there is any proof of fixing umpires which I believe is the safest and easiest thing to do. If any of you bookies are reading this, give me a call and lets discuss it in detail :). This raises doubts with the credibility of people running ICC and their inability to implement the Umpire Decision Review System(UDRS). Implementing that system will probably take the fixing of umpires out of the equation and probably the committee members will loose out on the cut they are getting out of all the fixing portfolios.

CLT20 started last week and I'm so glad not to hear any DLF maximums or Karbonn kamaal katches or Maxx mobile timeouts. It is understood that a lot of money is riding on these events but one has to draw a line when it comes to commercialization. If the same trend continues, we might even get to see the "spot the fix" contest in which contestants not only have to guess which ball might be a no ball but also the exact number of times Deepika Padukone and Siddarth Mallya are shown on the big screen with a "oops we got caught doing it" expression. The problem with anything related to management or administration in India is that people are like crabs in a box trying to pull each other down all the time, unable to stand the success of a colleague or a fellowman. It wouldn't be surprising to see the IPL fade out like fizz in a soda bottle as a result of too much of commercialization. With the ousting of Lalit Modi and a highly confusing format for the next IPL just to make every team play 14 matches, I feel biting the dust is imminent. The organizers of CLT20 have done a fabulous job on the number of advertisements and sponsors even though they have made a horrendous mistake in choosing commentators like Ganguly, Manjrekar and co. But guess one has to compromise on something and I hope at least this tournament runs without any glitches and I get to see RCB lifting the cup on 26th :). Jai RCB.

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Godz-illa

I was reading the story of Adam and Eve the other day and was wondering how naive we were to believe that story. In fact almost all the fables about the birth of religion or Gods have had lots of flaws in them. Well to start off, I believe that these are the common assumptions that we have about the almighty or the superpower.

1. God is omnipresent and powerful than any being on the earth.
2. We are mere puppets in the hands of the God and everything is controlled by him/her.
3. God not only knows what is going to happen in the future but also makes us pay for our sins.
4. People who do good things go to heaven and people who do bad things go to hell.

Coming back to the story of Adam and Eve, apparently God advised them to not eat the fruit from only one particular tree. And as the story goes, world's first ever dickhead and booby without brainy committed that mistake and then god punished them. That punishment is what we see today as earning our bread, emotional discharges and even childbirth.

Well if the god knows the future, then he would have surely known that Adam and Eve would have eaten the fruit and hence it dismisses the very motive of the story. Why couldn't he cut to the chase and pose a set of challenges for them in the beginning itself? The same conclusion can be reached if one looks at the fact that we are mere puppets in the God's hands. In that case, I wonder why people spend millions and millions on building a place of worship and praying. If praying would solve all the problems, then life on earth would have felt like lap dances even while writing exams. If praying doesn't solve all your problems, then why do it?

If God is present everywhere, it again dismisses the existence of a room exclusively built in the houses for worshiping which in many cases is bigger than the bathroom itself. This means that the almighty is spying on you even when you are taking a dump, or go to the restroom in the pretext of taking a dump or even when you are humping. Doesn't that creep you out? If God sure is invisible then I wonder who saw him first and painted him as a dude with blue skin with source of potential steak on either sides or a grumpy woman with weapons in six hands enough to decapitate or even circumcise a hundred men.


If I did something good today, does that fetch me clubcard points to go to heaven? Is a point deducted for bad thing that we do? In fact what is classified as good and bad? Taking your wife out to a romantic dinner in your new Hummer might be considered good, but isn't it bad for the environment when instead of using a fuel guzzler, you could have taken public transport? So where does one find the cut off level, like getting 15 in internals and a stamp 35 in the externals?

Well, it all looks like a series of deadlocks and ambiguities and we are only succumbing to the  fake stories dating back to thousands of years, told by our ancestors just to keep the mankind in check and ultimately to deceive the weaker class in order to lead a luxurious life. I mean lets face it, why does one need to donate money or carry out a ritual to reach out to the God. If we do not have access to these high end money fleecing places of worship, we have  back up plan depending on the class in the society.

The funny thing is, we always point towards the sky to show god. Assuming that people near the equator point somewhere above their heads to show the good old almighty's abode, shouldn't the people moving away from the equator point towards the horizon?

Let us assume that Adam and Eve had remained good and if that had happened, we would have not paid any rent and stayed in bungalows, got drunk, puked, got drunk again and still wouldn't have had a hangover, the dining table would have looked like a lavish buffet and still we would have stayed slim, people would have gone not just all night long but instead all week long without any Redbull or STD scare and programmers wouldn't have found any bugs in their code and would have reached home everyday before 5 in Bengaluru traffic. I can probably imagine all of these happening except the last one and I guess a lot of people would agree with me on it even those who have been fuming till now.

I'm neither a philosopher nor a hermit but I have lived long enough to see the power of sheer human willpower and strength and would not like to deface the achievements of man over these years with one word "God". I rest my case and hence as long as the traffic in Bengaluru doesn't come under control and as long as the weather in Glasgow is not wet or cold,  I can be sure that there is not God and hence Godz-illa.

  

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Pilot

Have you observed the fact that the 1st episode of any television series is named as "Pilot"?

According to Wikipedia, "At the time of its inception, the pilot is meant to be the "testing ground" to see if a series will be possible and successful and therefore a test episode of an intended television series." So I decided to use the same for my first post. The thought of blogging had been lingering in my head for a long time now, and this is just an effort to dip my toes in the water to get a feel of it and probably making it into something big in the future. 

With all the formal stuff completed, its time to get down to business. I have been reading a lot of blogs in the recent past and even though the authors of some of them try to act too clever by overly critiquing some of the obvious facts and try to portray themselves as a cross between Paris Hilton and Marilyn Monroe , the fact still remains that at the end of the day, a blonde is still a blonde. Hence, I would like to openly declare that this blog is not only serving as my virtual jerk-off junction but is also aimed at attracting both wanted and unwanted attention. If at all any of the readers do get offended by my posts, I'm sorry to tell you that the sole intention of it was to offend you. I can guarantee that my posts are going to cover all the sensitive issues with a topping of dark dirty humor. 

I am currently unemployed  and can only be described as "dharti pe bhoj". This blog is aimed at reducing that unwanted weight on the earth and in an effort to put my meager knowledge to better use. Please feel free to follow me and I would love to receive all the censored and uncensored abuses in the comments section even though I wouldn't mind an occasional  complement. Now that I have almost come to the end of this post, I think I should think about what to write next and in the meanwhile, think I'm going to watch an episode of "Two And A Half Men"(highly recommended).

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